Absolution Part III
by The Prime Minister
Summary: Continues the story from Abs. part 2. Xel and Lina make it to Filia's and typical mayhem ensues.


Disclaimer: Okay, folks, I don't own the characters, not making money, etc. This is part three, which obviously follows part 2. There are lemony scenes in this one, too, so don't be surprised. If that sort of thing offends you, just skip the last part of this installment. I haven't proofread this part yet, so please be kind. I tend to write everything half-asleep, so sometimes my pronouns and homophones get mixed up. Hope you enjoy, and reviews are greatly appreciated

**Absolution Part III  
by the Prime Minister****  
**

"Mom, there's someone coming up the walk," Val said from where he was perched at the window.

"Who is it?" Filia asked, concentrating on her needlework.

"A man, a woman, and a little girl," Val replied, taking another glance before returning to his reading.

"Do we know them?"

Val looked out the window and narrowed his eyes. "I think I've seen the grownups before," he said. "They're almost to the door."

Filia sighed and shook her head, still not taking her attention from her project. Winter was in the air in the mornings, and she really wanted to get finished with the blanket edges. "Fine, fine," she muttered. "Go greet them and find out what they want."

"Okay," Val said, sliding from the window seat and walking over to the door. She heard the door open and him step outside. "Hello. What can I for you?"

"If it isn't little Val!" she heard a familiar voice say, and her blood immediately turned to ice in her veins. She knew that voice, knew it in her bones, and her fingers went completely numb, the needlework sliding from her limp hands. No, it couldn't be, it just couldn't. She was imagining things.

"Do I know you?" Val asked, partially hidden from view by the door.

"I was here about four and a half years ago," the familiar voice replied. "But I don't expect you to remember that. You were still very little. Is your mother here?"

"Hey, Filia!" a new voice shouted, and Filia recognized that one, too. It didn't make her blood run cold like the other voice, but it was no more encouraging.

"Oh no," Filia moaned, sinking back in her chair and closing her eyes. "No, no, no."

"Val, go get your mom," the male voice, the voice that made her bones freeze, said.

"Mom!" Val called, leaning back into the room so he could make eye contact. "Could you please come here? There are some people who would like to see you."

Filia stared in horror at her son for a moment, then sighed. Well, if it really was them, they certainly wouldn't just leave. She had best find out what they wanted so she could get rid of them quickly. "Coming," she growled, hoisting herself out of her chair and trudging to the door. She threw it wide, preparing herself, and found that despite her efforts she was woefully unprepared for what she saw. "Good gods!" she cried, leaning against the doorframe and putting a hand to her collarbones.

Lina chuckled and put a hand behind her head. "Yeah, it happened again," she muttered.

"You're as big as a house!" Filia exclaimed, shocked, then let her eyes slide over to Xellos. There was something different about him but she couldn't quite tell what it was.

"Greetings, Miss Filia," Xellos said politely with a little bow.

"Shut up," she snapped at him, then noticed a little girl clutching his leg, her large, amethyst eyes wide and a finger in her mouth. "Oh, who is this? Is this little Lecia?" she said, trying to be more gentle.

"Yes, you remember her, don't you?" Xellos said, fondly stroking the child's shining hair.

"Of course," Filia said sharply, then smiled at the little girl. She hated to admit it, but Xellos and Lina had produced a fine-looking little girl. The child's bone structure had all of Lina's petite characteristics but with Xellos' length. Her eyes were a breathtaking color and beautiful shape, and her hair was just as thick and glossy as her father's. Everything about the girl suggested great beauty upon maturity, and Filia, despite her deepest wishes, was impressed. "Hello, Lecia," she said gently.

Lecia just stared at Filia, mouth hanging slightly open. Xellos nudged her gently. "Come now, little one, don't be rude," he said. "Say hello to Filia."

"Hello, Miss Filia," Lecia murmured, and copied her father's little bow.

Filia squealed in spite of herself at the darling sight. "What an adorable daughter!" she chortled, surprised that such a nice, feminine creature could come from Lina's body.

"Yeah, she's pretty cute," Lina replied, a strange, wistful tone in her voice.

Filia turned her attention back to the pregnant woman, questions wheeling through her mind. "Lina, what's going on? Why are you here, and how on earth did you get pregnant again? And what's this piece of filth doing with you?"

Xellos chuckled and put his arm around Lina. "We're having another baby!" he announced. "Lecia thinks she'll have a little brother, but I don't know why she's so certain."

"But, but," Filia stammered, brow furrowing. "But how can you, if you're a..." Then she noticed that Xellos' dark hair was shot through with silver, the strands gleaming in contrast with his glossy locks.

"The hair's the least of my change," he said with a grin, and then he slowly opened his eyes.

Filia stared into round pupils. His eyes weren't Monster's eyes, they were human eyes. Her mind reeled at the implications and she managed to utter a single noise of surprise before she fainted dead away.

They all stood there, staring at Filia, for several long moments. "You were hoping she'd do that, weren't you," Lina muttered.

Xellos laughed. "Well, let's just say I'm not disappointed," he chuckled.

"Mom? Mom? Are you okay?" Val asked, dropping to his knees and frantically shaking Filia.

"Is she dead?" Lecia whispered, eyes wide.

"No, she just fainted," Lina said roughly. "Filia has always been overdramatic."

"Mom?" Val cried, voice cracking.

Xellos sighed, still smiling to himself, and bent down, taking Filia in his arms. "Come along," he said gently to Val, and they all filed inside. Xellos set the dragon down on the sofa and sat next to her, fanning her softly with a piece of paper he found on the coffee table. "Wake up, Filia."

Filia groaned and squirmed, scowling. "Mom!" Val said, clutching at her hand.

"Wha?" Filia moaned, sitting upright. "What happened?"

"You looked at Xellos and fainted," Lina explained roughly. "And I know what you're going to say next. Let me save you the trouble. Yes, he's human, yes, he's the father of my children. He fought Xellas and lost, and I had to save him. That was several months ago, and he hadn't been human too long before I got pregnant."

"That's the short version," Xellos said sagely, winking at Filia.

"Mommy said that you would help her when she has the baby," Lecia added, her eyes slowly sliding over to Val.

"So, will you help?" Xellos asked brightly. "I'm afraid I don't know any healing spells and Lina obviously can't cast any, and we didn't know where to turn."

Filia looked as if she was going to refuse, but then she caught sight of Lecia's wide, hopeful eyes and sighed. "Fine," she said. "I'll help you."

"Say hello to your new home, Lecia!" Xellos announced.

"WHAT?" Filia screeched. "You can't stay here!"

Lecia blinked. "How come? Mommy and Daddy said you'd help us!"

Filia's brows knitted and she seemed less certain than before. "Well, er, I will help you, but I don't think you should live here."

"Don't you want us?" Lecia asked, lower lip quivering.

Xellos watched his daughter proudly, uncertain if she was being devious or not. If she wasn't, that was fine, it was doing the trick. If she was she was truly his daughter and he had never been so impressed in his whole life. "It's okay, little one," he said gently. "We'll just find another place to live."

"But, Daddy, this house is nice," Lecia stammered, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"You heard him," Lina said sharply. "Let's get out of here."

Filia took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Fine, you can stay here, but you owe me."

"Yaaay!" Lecia said, breaking out into a little dance. "We're home!"

Xellos smiled and moved to a chair, leaning back heavily. His leg throbbed and sweat was popping out along his hairline. "Thank you," he said gently. "I'll fix supper tonight."

"He's a good cook," Lina said smugly. "But before he does anything stupid, Filia, I'd like you to look at his leg."

Filia frowned. "Why?"

"He got injured defending us from bandits and Monsters on the way here, and he's been absolutely pigheaded about getting it looked at."

"I wouldn't say pigheaded," Xellos said, pouting.

Filia glared at him, then sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll take a look," she grumbled. "Please remove your trousers."

Lina chuckled. "You'd better figure something else out," she said. "He doesn't wear underwear."

Filia shot him a horrified look and paled. "Whaaat?"

Xellos winked at her and grinned. "I prefer to be au naturale."

Filia turned a deep shade of red. "Ah, well, uh, I guess we'll just have to cut away your trouser leg," she stammered.

"Are you sure? I can take them off, you know. I'm not ashamed."

"Xellos," Lina warned.

"Well? Should I be, Lina dearest?"

Lina blushed a bit, biting her lip. "No..."

"Stop it, you two. I am NOT going to look at Xellos naked," she growled. "We're just going to cut the pant leg away. Val, my scissors."

Val went over to her sewing basket and handed her the scissors. She made short work of the fabric, cutting it all the way up to his hip and pushing the cloth aside. "Well?" Xellos asked, amused as she let her eyes travel the length of his leg. Her gaze lingered a bit on the toned muscles of his thigh and flickered over the bulge of his crotch. She saw that he had caught her looking and turned an intense shade of purple. "See anything you like?" he murmured.

"See why I keep him around?" Lina chuckled, shaking her head.

"Er, no," Filia said sharply, finally turning her attention to his wound. "Dear gods!" she breathed.

"Xellos!" Lina growled. "I TOLD you to have it looked at!"

"What?" he asked, blinking down at his leg. Sure, it was infected and festering and hurt like hell, but he wasn't going to die from it. He might not have white magic, but he knew enough tricky spells to be able to keep the infection from spreading. "It's fine."

"How can you say that?" Filia gasped. "This wound is incredibly infected! I'm surprised it hasn't spread and killed you already!"

"I tried to keep it clean," he explained,"but it IS a Monster wound, after all, and probably poisoned."

"You shouldn't play games with your own life," Lina said sharply. "What would we do if you died, you idiot?"

"I'm not going to die," he sighed. "I can't heal it, but that doesn't mean I can't do other things to prevent my own demise."

"I'll never understand you," Filia growled.

"Me, or men in general?" Xellos smiled.

"Both," she replied, and cast a spell.

Lecia, in the meantime, had moved over the Val and was regarding him with interest. "You have pretty hair," she said, reaching up to touch it. "I like green."

Val stared at her. "Uh, thanks," he stammered.

Lecia narrowed her eyes and walked around him. Returning to face him, she stared at him and rose up on her tiptoes. "Your eyes look like my Daddy's used to, except they're gold."

"Huh?"

"You have pretty eyes, I like them."

Lina spotted the two children and laughed. "Hey, Filia, how old is Val now?"

"Eight."

"Not too much older than she is, then. How are things going?"

"He's a dream child, hardly ever misbehaves. I wanted to send him to the school in the village, but he still has problems controlling his transformations and now all the other children are afraid of him."

"That's a shame," Xellos murmured, watching the glow of Filia's hands over his thigh as the flesh began to return to a normal color.

"Why are your eyes like that?" Lecia asked.

"Because he's a dragon," Xellos answered from across the room.

"Really?" Lecia breathed. "Like in the books?"

Xellos smiled, catching Filia's glare. "Yes, just like in the books."

"But he doesn't look like one," the little girl said.

"I am!" Val protested, frowning. "I'm as good as any dragon!"

"Of course you are," Filia cooed over her shoulder. "You're the best dragon ever."

"Or at least the strongest," Xellos said beneath his breath. He approved of the interest the children were showing in one another. Lecia wouldn't be afraid of Val just because he was a dragon; after all, she had been raised by Monsters. Because of her fearlessness, he had hopes that Val would befriend her and care for her. That way if anything ever happened to him, Val would be able to defend his daughter from his enemies. Val, aside from Lina, was probably the only person on the planet strong enough to do so.

"If you don't look like a dragon, how come you are one?" Lecia asked, narrowing her eyes again and reaching up, fingering Val's pointed ears. "I want ears like yours," she muttered.

"I AM a dragon!" Val growled. "I can change forms, so I can look like a human or a dragon."

Lecia's eyes went huge. "Really?" she breathed. "Can I see?"

Val grinned and his body hunched. "No!" Filia cried. "Not in the house!"

Val stood up straight and pursed his lips. "Aw, Mom!"

"Do it outside, and don't let anyone else see you," Filia instructed. "Just show her, change back, and come inside right away."

"Okay," the boy pouted, taking Lecia by the wrist. "Come on!"

"Kay," Lecia said, and the two dashed outside.

"Lecia's never had a friend before," Lina said with a small smile, gaze on the door the children had left through.

"Val really hasn't, either," Filia mumbled, hands still hovering an inch from Xellos' thigh.

"See?" Xellos grinned. "We can help your family, too!"

"Great," Filia grumbled, and he flinched as she finished the spell, pinching the soft skin of his inner thigh.

"Hey!" Xellos said, rubbing the spot where the wound had been.

"All better," Filia spat.

There was an ear-splitting roar from behind the house and the sound of timber breaking. "What the hell?" Lina said with a scowl, looking out the window.

"Oh, no, Val!" Filia cried, jumping up and racing out the door. "Not the garden! Not again!"

Lina sighed and shook her head. "Must be hell having a dragon for a kid."

Xellos studied her carefully, thinking how tired she looked. "Are you glad we came?" he asked gently.

She glanced out the window. "Yeah," she said wistfully. "I think it'll be good for Lecia. Still, I wish we had more time alone. We're hardly going to have a moment to ourselves once the baby is born."

"We'll make do," he murmured, watching her from underneath his heavy bangs.

Lina's eyes licked up and down his body, then she bent down and traced the inside of his muscular thigh. "Mmm," she said with a smile. She drew her finger up to the inside of his hipbone and down again, letting it slide beneath the remaining fabric of his pants and to more sensitive regions of his body. His eyes went wide and he jumped, caught unawares at her boldness, then pulled her into his lap.

"We'll definitely have to find a way to make do," he whispered, leaning over her and kissing her. The kiss began innocently enough, but before he knew what was going on she had her hands tangled in his hair and they were each thrusting their tongues into one another's mouths.

"That boy," he heard someone grumble, coming towards the door, and Lina nearly toppled to the floor in her haste to get off of him. Filia closed the door and turned, studying them with narrowed eyes. Xellos cleared his throat and crossed his legs, doing his best to smile normally. Lina, however, was a dead giveaway, blushing deeply and her arms crossed over her swollen abdomen. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"Nothing we can't pick up later," Xellos answered glibly. "For now, I think, my women need to be fed."

Lina's expression brightened considerably at the prospect of food. "Yes, I think it's time for food," she urged him.

"But dinner is only in two hours," Filia protested.

Xellos smiled and stood up. "Don't worry, she'll be able to eat again soon," he told the dragon. "Is there a room in which I can put our things?"

Filia frowned. "What things?"

Xellos patted the brown leather bag that was still at his side. "Oh, Lina brought along a couple hundred books and her full wardrobe, and we have all of Lecia's toys and clothes as well. I only brought a few outfits with me and a few personal affects I simply couldn't do without."

"And all that's in there?"

"And more," Lina grumbled. "Am I gonna get food soon or not?"

"Of course, dearest," Xellos replied. "I just need to put this pack down and change into a new pair of pants, unless you'd prefer I cook like this."

Lina smiled, the expression frightfully devious, then she glanced at Filia. "I don't care, just so long as you cook," she said slowly.

Xellos smiled slightly at Filia. "Before Lecia was born and Lina and I were living in our cabin, sometimes I wouldn't wear anything but an apron when I cooked. Lina found it highly diverting, but I'm afraid we were often distracted from the preparing of food. You have no idea how much crockery we broke."

"Too much information," Filia growled. "I'll show you to your room. You two can take the guest room, and I suppose Lecia can share Val's room, if he doesn't mind."

Xellos followed Filia down a hallway and into the guest room, the only bedroom on the first story of the little house. He set the bag down on the bed, rummaged around, and pulled out a new pair of trousers. "Are you going to watch?" he asked her lightly, watching with satisfaction as her eyes widened in horror. "I don't mind, you know, but Lina tends to be a bit possessive."

"Of course not!" she snorted, slamming the door closed.

Xellos smiled to himself and changed, thinking that the trip to Filia's might not have been such a bad idea after all.

He was in the kitchen, cleaning up after Lina's snack and beginning to prepare supper when Filia appeared in the doorway. She stood and watched him for quite some time, a strange expression on her face, and finally his curiosity got the better of him. "Yes?" he asked, not looking up from his task.

"Why are you really here?" she blurted.

"Because you are particularly well-suited to care for Lina during this ordeal," he said. "That's the truth."

"Like I'm going to believe you," she said. "Honestly, why here? You could have found any number of cities with qualified healers, if that's what you were worried about."

"And you expect me to come clean with you, a dragon?"

"Shut up, Monster filth."

Xellos laughed and set down the bowl he was cleaning. "I'm not a Monster anymore, Miss Filia," he said.

"But you're not human."

He smiled and shook his head, leaning against the counter. "Actually, I'm just barely human. I'm obviously close enough to the real thing to father children, but my abilities and awareness still extend far beyond that of a normal human. In those respects I'm as human as you are."

Filia stiffened a bit at his remark but didn't take his bait. "So why did you come to me?"

Xellos sighed, remembering back to the morning that Lina had oh-so-roughly announced her pregnancy. "It was Lina's decision. She thought it would be a fitting punishment for me. If I made her miserable by getting her pregnant, she was going to make me miserable by forcing me to live with you."

"Lovely," Filia said sullenly.

"That's what I thought," Xellos admitted. "You know I don't pretend that there's any love lost between us. But, as I examined it, I realized it really wasn't such a bad idea after all."

Filia's eyes narrowed. "Okay, now you're frightening me."

Xellos felt his jovial mood drain away and he opened his eyes, catching her gaze directly. "Lina didn't tell you the whole story," he said softly, gesturing her closer. "In fact, I haven't told her the whole story myself. I think you need to know it, though, because it occurs to me that I may someday need your help."

Filia eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then reluctantly moved closer. "What happened?"

"I was on a mission with one of Dolphin's generals and one of Dynast's underlings. We were destroying a city when Lina showed up. Well, of course she fought us, and the other two Monsters were very upset that she was there. Dynast sent down the orders that Lina was to be killed, and I was the one to do it."

"No!" Filia gasped, putting her hands over her mouth, eyes wide.

"There was no way I was going to kill Lina, not after everything we went through, even though I was a Monster at the time. So, I simply killed my compatriots and all the witnesses."

"You killed your own people?"

Xellos shrugged. "Of course. It was them or Lina."

"And you chose Lina."

"Obviously."

Filia sighed and sat down in a chair, putting her forehead in her hands. "And?"

"I knew that Dynast and Dolphin would come for me eventually, and there was no guarantee my own mistress wouldn't try and execute me, either. I went to fetch Lecia and returned to Lina, and we were about to make good our escape when I realized something was very, very wrong with my daughter."

"Where was Lecia?"

"Whenever I was on assignment she stayed with her Grandma, the Greater Beast, and Lina went journeying."

"WHAT?" Filia growled, slamming her hands down on the table.

Xellos made a gesture pleading for silence and Filia glanced toward the door uncertainly. "Lina doesn't know some of this, and I don't think she needs to right now. I'd like to wait until after the baby's born."

"Fine," Filia murmured. "But you had better explain to me why you let a Monster lord take care of that darling little girl."

Xellos sighed. "Several reasons. First of all, Xellas volunteered, after a fashion. She was curious, as she has a tendency to be. Secondly, I made quite a few enemies by breeding with a human, and many people sought to harm those who meant anything to me. Lecia was especially despised, and no one could protect her better than Xellas, not even myself. Third, Lina wouldn't take care of her, and who else did I have to turn to?"

Filia regarded him flatly, mouth pressed into a tight line. "I really hate it when you make sense. It never bodes well."

Xellos closed his eyes and lowered his chin. "If it's any consolation, I didn't want to leave my daughter with Xellas. I didn't trust her or her motives, especially after she turned me human and then changed me back. She tried to break me, you know, and wean me of Lina. I was tortured for months, but it didn't work. You saw me almost immediately after I was set free the last time."

"I remember," Filia whispered, bowing her head.

"Well, when I got Lecia back from Xellas and was going to take my family and escape, I realized why Xellas was so interested in my little girl." Xellos paused, face going hard, and looked straight at Filia. "She had been adding astral energy to Lecia's astral form a little bit at a time. If she had been allowed to continue she would have eventually made my daughter into a Monster."

"No!" Filia gasped, eyebrows furrowing in horror.

"Yes," Xellos hissed. "I hadn't noticed because it had been so gradual. That last mission had taken me nearly half a year, though, and enough had been added by the time I saw Lecia again that I definitely noticed the change."

"But why would she do that?" Filia breathed, still obviously shocked.

"Our numbers were growing smaller, and she also needed a replacement for me. You see, I wasn't acting Monsterly enough for her. Some human clung to my soul and she couldn't get rid of it. Not that Lecia wouldn't have been 'tainted' as well, but Lecia would serve her out of love and not out of fear, as I did."

"So you just picked her up and saw she was different?"

"Not until I got back to Lina. It was then that I realized what had happened. Needless to say, I went into a rage and became completely irrational. I left Lecia with Lina and went back to my mistress. I challenged her in battle and lost."

Filia's mouth dropped open and she stared at him for long moments. "You challenged your own mistress? Were you crazy? There's no way you could have defeated her!"

Xellos clenched his jaw. "I had to try. I had to find some way to make her pay for tampering with my family."

"And then what happened?"

Xellos smiled at her, amused by her sudden curiosity. "Lina came to my rescue and cut my astral form free from Xellas' with some new spells she learned. She managed to wound Xellas enough that she could get me out of there. Lina took me back to the mainland and tried to nurse me back to health, but she had cut too much off of my astral body and I was 'bleeding' to death. I was comatose for quite some time, and then Xellas returned and made a bargain with Lina."

"WHAT?" Filia gasped, face pale.

"Trust me, I share your opinion," he said bitterly. "Lina made a pact with her to save my life, even offering her soul. Xellas didn't want that, luckily."

"What was the bargain?"

"Lina made a pledge with Xellas that she would not stand in Xellas' way when my mistress came to collect payment. It was never specified what that payment was. If Lina breaks her promise and tries to fight Xellas, Xellas gets my soul."

"How awful!"

"Yes, but it saved my life."

"Then what?"

"Then I healed, got Lina pregnant, and traveled here."

Filia sat back in her chair, silent as she absorbed all he had told her. "So why did you agree to come here, Xellos?"

Xellos pressed his lips together and took a deep breath through his nose. "Because Dolphin and Dynast are still after me. If anything should happen and I die, I know you and Val will be strong enough to protect my family. No one but a Monster lord can defeat a golden or an ancient dragon, especially if they're working together. You're the only hope I have of keeping my family safe once I'm gone."

Filia stared at him. "I can't believe you'd put that sort of faith in anyone, Xellos," she breathed. "You honestly think they'll find you and kill you, don't you?"

"I know they will," he said flatly. "It's just a matter of when. I still have some time left, but I can't bear the thought of my family still being in danger from Xellas without me around to protect them. Between you, Val, and Lina you'd actually have a fighting chance."

"I don't know," Filia said, hands curled into fists on the top of the table. "I don't know if anyone could beat Xellas."

Xellos nodded. "She's crafty and patient. Still, you're my only hope."

Filia was quiet for quite some time, eyes focused on her hands. Xellos barely dared breathe for fear he would interrupt her train of thought, and he had to have her support. He really didn't have anywhere else to turn. "You've changed," she finally said. "I remember the days when you would have killed Lina without a backward glance."

He nodded slowly. "I do, too. Those days ended when I became human. Even as a Monster, when I couldn't have any feelings for her, I knew I didn't want her harmed."

"They're precious to you," Filia murmured.

Xellos felt a nameless, intense emotion well up inside of him, and when he spoke it was with passionate ferocity. "They're worth my very heart and soul," he replied.

Filia studied him carefully, face seeming pinched with concentration. "Do you love Lecia?"

"With all my heart."

"And Lina?"

Xellos blinked. "It's different than what I feel for Lecia. What I feel for the child is concrete. My feelings for Lina are no less intense, but how do I know if it's love?"

Filia stood and pushed in her chair. "Fine, Xellos. I don't know how, but you've convinced me. I can't believe I'm actually believing you, but I do. You have my help."

He bowed his head. "I can't express my gratitude," he replied.

"I'll collect someday, don't you worry."

He bowed again, but this time gave her a lecherous wink. "I look forward to it."

Filia looked scandalized and blushed. "Pervert!" she hissed, going to the door. When she was in the entryway she paused and turned to him, face serious. "Xellos?"

"Yes?" he asked, returning to his tasks.

"If you really do love her, you'll know it," she replied, and was gone from the room.

"No, you can't put that there," Val said, pushing the puzzle pieces out of Lecia's way as the children sat on the floor.

"Yes I can, it goes there," Lecia protested.

"No, it doesn't," Val insisted.

"Yes, it does, see?" she declared with a flourish, pushing the two pieces together.

"You just forced them together."

"So?"

"That's not how you play!"

"This game is dumb," Lecia growled, crossing her arms and glaring at nothing in particular.

"Children, please don't argue," Filia said, sitting next to the fire, working on her needlework.

Lina sighed and looked down at Xellos, who was sitting on the floor in front of her rubbing her stomach with oil. His hands were warm and gentle, and the slight pressure felt very, very nice. That, combined with the large quantities of delectable foods he had fed her for dinner, made her quite content. She really looked forward to sleeping in the large, soft bed in Filia's guest room instead of on the ground. It would be good for Xellos, too, who sorely needed a good night's sleep. "Better?" he murmured, climbing up to sit next to her on the soft.

"Yeah," she replied with a smile. "I could use even more of it."

"Here, then," he said softly, moving her so that he could sit behind her and rub her shoulders.

"Good," she breathed, closing her eyes and leaning into him.

Her bliss was interrupted only by the squabbling of the children, who were beginning to annoy Filia, if her tone of voice was any indication. "Val, stop it and share right this instant," the blonde woman snapped, and Lina threw her a glance.

"But Mom," the little boy whined. "Lecia doesn't know how to play."

"I do so!" Lecia protested, standing up and stamping her foot.

"You two stop it right now," Filia said sharply.

Lina heard Xellos sigh. "You can't expect them to understand how to play with one another right away," he said gently. "Each of them has never had a playmate before and it will take them some time to get used to it."

"Val wasn't raised to be overbearing and selfish," Filia replied stiffly.

"You raise children by example," Xellos countered, and Lina could feel Filia twitching all the way across the room.

"And what sort of example do you give?" she snapped.

"Shut up," Lina interjected. "No one cares. It's late and they're tired. Xellos, put them to bed."

Lecia immediately began to prance around the room. "Bedtime bedtime!" she squealed.

"I don't wanna go to bed!" Val protested.

Lecia stopped in mid-step and stared at the dragon child. "Why not?" she asked, honestly surprised.

"Because I'm not tired."

"So?"

"I wanna stay up and play some more."

Lecia crept over and crouched in front of Val, staring him straight in the face, her nose only a few inches from his. "But bedtime is story time!" she said softly. "Doesn't your daddy tell you stories at bedtime?"

"Val doesn't have a daddy," Filia explained gently, picking Val up.

"Mom!" he cried. "I'm not a baby!"

"You'll always be my baby," she cooed, nuzzling him. Val squirmed a bit, but he was smiling and really didn't seem to mind that much.

"Daddy, me, too!" Lecia said, jumping up and down with her arms raised.

Xellos chuckled and scooped her up, kissing her on the top of the head. "Very well, little one. Shall we put your jammies on, brush your teeth, and go to bed?"

"Yes!" Lecia giggled, throwing her arms around her father's neck and kissing him on the cheek.

Lina smiled and watched as the four of them climbed the stairs, her smile fading as the disappeared from sight. Xellos and Filia, although strange and awful in their own ways, were very, very good parents. They knew when to discipline and when to dote, and she had no doubts that the children would grow up feeling loved by the two. Still, where did that leave her? She felt very left out at that moment, her hand unconsciously straying to her bulging stomach. The life inside of her lashed out, making her narrow her eyes as she tried to ignore the motion. Was she a good mother? Would she ever be? It seemed like she was very out of place in the household, almost as if it was Xellos and Filia that should be raising children together.

She was still brooding when Filia appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "How's everything?" Lina asked nonchalantly, effectively concealing her earlier angst.

"Wonderful," Filia replied faintly, as if she herself couldn't believe it.

Lina couldn't help but smile. "Who would have thought a man who used to be a Monster would be so great with kids, huh?"

Filia pursed her lips, then sighed. "Yes, I hate to say it, but as insufferable as he is, he's very, very good with children."

"Yeah, he's gotten even better since becoming human. He was sweet with Lecia even before, but now she's his sun and moon, and he's hers. I don't think that little girl will ever want for love."

Filia nodded and sat down on the sofa next to her. "You could have done worse," she said reluctantly.

"Yeah..." Lina replied, feeling an odd sorrow well up in her.

"It's strange to see Xellos actually acting like a man," Filia mused.

Her words brought a smile to Lina's lips. "He might not seem like it by most people's standards, but he's definitely all man. Manhood isn't all bravado, muscles, and machismo."

Filia smiled as well. "Miss Lina, please forgive me for asking, but why are you with him again? When I saw you last you were going to take up with Gourry again."

Lina felt all the old emotions and pain rise within her once more, but oddly enough they weren't as awful or intense as they had once been. "Xellos found me and showed up with the baby. Once Gourry found out the whole story he left me."

"What?" Filia said, eyes wide. "I can't believe that!"

"Well, it's true," Lina replied quietly. "He said he wouldn't be the reason a family was broken up."

"He just left?"

"Well, actually, he sort of forced me to leave with Xellos."

"So you were stuck with him?"

"Yeah. Xellos had a beach bungalow built for me and nursed me until my heart healed. By that time Lecia was walking, and soon after she started to talk. I really couldn't find it in me to leave them, after that. Those intervening years weren't so bad, and then Xellos became human again..."

Filia stared off into the fire for long moments, then drew a breath. "Human Xellos... That first time with him meant a lot to you, didn't it?"

Lina scowled, not liking to be reminded. She still thought of Gourry as her other half, and didn't particularly care to remember that Xellos answered things within her that the swordsman never could. Her focus almost always remained on the things that Gourry provided for her that Xellos never would. She still couldn't decide which was better. "What's with all the questions?" Lina asked testily.

Filia rubbed her temples. "I'm just trying to figure all this out. One day you show up at my house pregnant with Lecia, then there was that awful scene during her birth. You were Xellos' lover for the better part of a year, then after you had his baby you just waltz off to be with the man you finally figured out you loved. Next thing you're off with Xellos again, and now you're having a second child with him. Please forgive me, but I'm incredibly confused. Weren't you meant to be with Gourry?"

"I thought so once, but I don't know anymore," Lina explained. "Xellos told me once that he had a theory. He said that this was most likely the only dimension in which he and I ended up together. He fully admits that I was probably supposed to be with Gourry forever, but that just didn't happen this go around. Sometimes I wonder what it must feel like to be one of those other "me"s, what it's like to be able to love Gourry forever and be with him. I used to wonder if they were happier than I am, then I realized that they probably weren't. It took me a while, but I don't think that Gourry could make me any happier than Xellos does. It's not better or worse, it's just different."

"But you loved Gourry," Filia said gently. "Do you still love him?"

"A part of me always will," Lina replied. "I don't think it matters."

"It's love, Lina! Don't you think you should be with the man you truly love?"

Lina shrugged. "You always were a romantic, Filia," she said. "This is the real world. We don't always get to be with our fairy tale princes."

"If you don't love Xellos, why are you with him?"

"Lecia, mostly, and now this new one. Gourry was actually right for once; I'd never forgive myself if I missed out on my own children's lives."

Filia rested her head on the back of the couch and gazed into the fire for long moments. "To tell you the truth, Miss Lina, I'm sort of jealous."

Lina snorted. "Of what?"

"You have someone to help you with your children. I know you've only been here half of a day, but I've seen how Xellos treats you. I've never seen a man so considerate of his mate. You never have to point out things to him or ask him anything. He just always seems to know what you want or need. He spent an hour massaging you, for example, and he not only cooked dinner and cleaned up, but now he has bathed your child and put both of the little ones to bed. Next thing you know he'll be down here helping you to bed, where he'll probably stand guard over you until you're fast asleep. It just doesn't seem fair."

Lina blinked at Filia, not knowing what to say. She had never really considered how lucky she was. Her first pregnancy had been awful, she remembered that, but she hadn't really thought to compare the two pregnancies since they were so completely different. Instead of feeling strung out, tired, and afraid, like she had been the first time, she felt like some sort of fertility goddess, her every whim and need taken care of. When she thought about it, she seriously doubted many men pumped midwives for knowledge of pregnancy and childbirth every chance they got. Xellos was most likely more knowledgeable of what was going on with her body than she was. She was about to reply to Filia when Xellos appeared at the bottom of the stairs, smiling and unrolling his shirtsleeves.

"Tired?" he asked Lina, and suddenly she was. She was very, very tired.

"Yeah," she replied, taking his hand as he helped her off the couch. He kissed her on the temple and put a hand on her back, gently escorting her to the back room. "Good night," she said to Filia.

"Good night, Miss Lina, and welcome," Filia replied softly, her smile wistful.

"Come, now," Xellos whispered, and led her to the bedroom.

"I can't believe we're finally here," Lina said as Xellos unbuttoned her shirt. He reverently kissed the tops of her breasts and then her throat.

"Forgive me," he murmured. "They were too beautiful not to pay homage to."

Lina smiled and ran her fingers through his dark, silver-streaked hair. She couldn't tell he had silver hairs until she got up close, and then she actually enjoyed seeing them. The contrast was just lovely. "That's all right," she replied, untying her pants and letting them slip to the ground. "I really like this bed. Lecia was born in this bed."

"Filia said this was the room, when I came here and learned how to care for Lecia," Xellos commented, turning back the covers and arranging pillows.

Lina sighed as he helped her into the bed and tucked the covers around her with a smile. He went to the other side of the room and undressed, sliding next to her in bed and wrapping his naked body around hers. She smiled and leaned into him, loving the feeling of all his silky skin pressed the length of her. "This is nice," she whispered.

"Things will be better from now on," he said softly, and soon she fell asleep.

Weeks passed uneventfully and Xellos was thankful for it. Lina was getting absolutely huge with child and was becoming increasingly immobile. Being forced to stay put, of course, made her very, very touchy. "Filia's a good mother," she said, interrupting his thoughts as he prepared lunch.

Xellos raised his head and looked out the kitchen window, seeing Filia run and play with the two children. Val and Lecia were working well as a team, simple strategies passing between them wordlessly in order to catch Filia. He watched them for a few moments, then nodded his head, returning to cutting carrots. "Yes, I suppose she is. She certainly loves little Val and isn't afraid to show it."

Lina sighed and rubbed her monstrous belly. "I wish I was a good mother," she murmured.

Xellos set down his knife and turned to her. "You're a good mother. Lecia knows you love her."

"But I'm not as affectionate as Filia, and I'm not good at playing."

"That's what I'm for," he said with a smile, walking over to her and kissing her on the cheek. "Please, don't worry about it. Everything will be just fine."

Lina nodded and he returned to the counter, every once in a while glancing out the window to make sure everything was okay. Val and Lecia were still chasing Filia when Lecia switched tactics, instead turning and tackling Val. The little boy squealed and hit the dirt, a wrestling match immediately taking place. "Do you really believe in all that alternate dimension or timeline stuff?" Lina asked suddenly.

Xellos turned and shrugged. "Not particularly, but it's entirely possible. Let's face it, the situation had to be just right for us to get together, and in most universes it probably never took place."

Lina nodded, gaze still fixed on the people outside. "I was just thinking that Filia would have been perfect for you, had things been different."

Xellos paled and stiffened. "Hardly," he sniffed, turning back to his cooking.

"No, really," she said. "You two would have been the best parents on the face of the planet. It would have been a great team. Besides, I think she thinks you're attractive, now that she's seen your human side."

"Well, the feelings aren't mutual. I can hardly stand her."

"Oh, you'd probably get over that with time. She's a pretty woman, you know."

"I fail to see it."

"That the way I think it might have been, in one of those alternate universes you talked about," she muttered, then fell silent.

Xellos looked out the window, studying Filia. She was pretty, he realized, and although he thought she was particularly annoying, her temperament wasn't quite so different from Lina's. Both lacked a certain degree of self-control, were stubborn, and violent in their volatility. Still, he preferred Lina. Filia wasn't stupid, but she wasn't brilliant like his Lina, nor did she burn with passion the way the mother of his children did. Lina loved every single moment of life and was filled with ambition, and these things were what he appreciated about her. What Lina had said gave him pause, though. How many different timelines could there be? How many times was he denied humanity and therefore Lina? "I like it this way," he said under his breath.

"Val, look there," he heard Lecia say, pointing at some trees.

"What?" he asked, golden eyes wide.

"This!" she giggled, kissing him lightly on the cheek. Val turned and stared at her, a blush staining his pale cheeks.

"Lecia!" Filia gasped. "You're only five! You shouldn't be kissing boys!"

Lecia's brow furrowed and she looked up at Filia, obviously confused. "Why not? Daddy kisses people he likes. He kisses me and Mommy all the time, and if he liked you, he'd kiss you, too."

"Yeah, Mom, you kiss me all the time," Val protested, going over to Lecia and kissing her back on the cheek. "See? Why is that bad?"

Filia turned a shade of red and began to splutter. "Well, it's just not proper, I mean.."

"If they're friends, let them kiss," Xellos called out the window. "It's better to teach them to get along, don't you think? Besides, they're just children."

Filia pursed her lips and stalked off, busying herself with her gardening. Lina grunted and he turned to look at her, seeing her shove away from the table. "Dammit, I hate being so huge," she growled.

"Do you need assistance?"

She shot him a look full of daggers and stood slowly. "No, I need to have this damn baby you put in me," she replied sharply.

Xellos clenched his jaw, distressed at how unhappy she was. The strain on her body was considerable, and he worried about her nearly constantly. "Is there anything I can do?"

Lina stopped at the door and looked at him. "Actually, you can pack up that lunch. I want to eat outside."

"Are you sure? Can you really walk that far?"

"I can walk as far as I want to, and I want to eat outside. Filia has some nice land here and I'd like to move about while I still can."

Xellos nodded and began to gather the necessary accouterments. "Very well, dearest," he said.

"Meet you outside in ten minutes," she replied, and left the room.

"Lecia!" Xellos called out the window. "Can you come in here, please?"

"Coming!" the little girl yelled, running screaming toward the house. It was odd, but she was so noisy that he barely even heard her anymore. He must have gotten used to her racket. She materialized at the back door, rocking on her heels. "Yes, Daddy?"

"I have a very important job for you and Val," he said.

He was interrupted by Lecia turning and screaming out the door. "Val, come here!"

"Now, now, that's not a very nice way to ask someone to do something for you," he began, but was cut off again.

"Please!" Lecia screamed, looking at him and beaming.

"Very good," he said, wincing.

"Yeah?" Val said, appearing behind Lecia and giving her a gentle shove. She shoved him back, and soon Xellos had to peel them apart, ending their impromptu wrestling match.

"I need you two to help me carry the food," Xellos explained patiently. "Mommy wants to eat outside today."

"Picnic?" Lecia squealed, grabbing Val's hands and leading him in a lurching dance around the room. The boy smiled and followed along, but his eyes were wide with panic and his steps faltered more than once.

"Yes, little one, a picnic. Now, are you done raising a ruckus so we can get ready?"

Lecia immediately stopped in her tracks and released Val, obediently going over to her father. "What should I do, Daddy?" she asked.

"You stay here and hold open the picnic basket," he said gently. "Val, would you please find a suitable blanket for us to sit on?"

"Sure, Mister Xellos," Val said, and dashed off. Xellos couldn't help musing on Val as he watched the boy trot away. All the anger and bitterness Xellos had seen in Valgaav was gone, leaving behind a hopeful, bright mind. He was happy that Val hadn't agreed to become a Monster. It might have meant the destruction of too much.

"Daddy!" Lecia said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "It's time to pack for the picnic!"

He smiled and knelt in front of her, gathering her into his arms. "You know you'll always be my precious baby, don't you?" he whispered into her silky hair.

Lecia squirmed and laughed. "Of course, Daddy! Now can we get ready?"

Xellos released her and smiled. "Certainly. Please hold that steady while I put the dishes in it, okay?"

"Okay," Lecia replied, her face screwed up with concentration.

It didn't take long to get everything ready, and Xellos even managed to convince Filia to tag along. It was just as well she was coming; they were using her dishes, flatware, and picnic supplies. Lina was already waiting outside, arms folded over her chest impatiently, and Xellos slung the basket over his shoulder, walking up to her. "Are you ready?" he asked gently.

"Do I look ready?" she snapped. "Now let's go find a pretty spot to eat."

"There's a little pond on the northwestern edge of the property," Filia said.

Xellos eyed Lina with concern. "How far away is it?"

"It's only about a ten minute walk," Filia replied. "There are plenty of trees for shade, too."

"Is that too far away, Lina?"

"Dammit, do I look like a porcelain doll to you? Let's just get going," Lina replied sharply.

Xellos nodded and herded the children in front of him, then took Lina's arm. "Here," he murmured.

"I don't need your help," she said roughly.

Xellos took a deep breath and cleared all the annoyance and sharp words from his thoughts. "I know you don't need it, and that you can do it yourself, but I would like to make it easier for you," he murmured and leaned forward, kissing her on the temple.

"Whatever," Lina mumbled, but she glanced at Filia and blushed deeply.

"Shall we?" Xellos asked brightly, and they moved on.

Filia was correct in her estimation of the distance to the pond, and it wasn't long before Val and Xellos had the blankets spread out. Lina sat, watching the preparations, and Filia began to set out the food. Lecia simply pranced around them, singing some nonsensical song, every once in a while rushing to Lina and putting her ear to her mother's stomach. Soon they were all eating, and even Lina's mood improved considerably. Lecia barely ate anything at all, standing up again almost immediately and proceeding to run around even more. "What do you want to do when you get older, Val?" Xellos asked.

"Xelly, he's just a child," Lina said.

"Xelly?" Filia mumbled, scowling and shaking her head.

Xellos smiled broadly and raised an eyebrow. "And just what do you think Lecia's going to be when she grows up?"

Lina sniffed and raised her chin in the air. "She'll be a sorcery genius, of course."

"So, Val, what are you going to do?"

Val shifted uneasily, trying to act like an adult but obviously wanting to run and play with Lecia. "Mom wants me to take over her business," he said carefully.

Xellos chuckled. "That's only natural," he replied, "but what do you want to do?"

Val looked down at the cup he held in his hands, then met Xellos' eyes and smiled. "I want to travel the world and have adventures, just like you guys did in Mom's stories."

Lina nodded in approval. "Good idea. Just don't get attached to anyone, okay?"

Val regarded her carefully. "Uh, all right," he replied. Xellos grinned and watched as the boy grew increasingly antsy. "Mom, may I be excused now?"

Filia smiled and inclined her head. "Of course, sweetie. Have fun."

Val's face split in a grin and he was on his feet in a second, chasing after Lecia. "Watch what I can do!" the little girl shouted, grabbing his hand and pulling him around.

"Val has such good manners," Xellos said wistfully, cradling his cup of tea as he watched the children. "I've done what I can with Lecia, but I fear it's not enough ..."

"That's because she's spoiled rotten," Lina chuckled. "She's Daddy's little girl and can do whatever she likes, whenever she feels like it."

Filia's face softened in a smile and she was about to say something when Val reappeared. "Mom, can I borrow that pitcher?" he asked.

"And?" Filia asked.

"May I borrow that pitcher please?" Val repeated with a sigh.

Filia glanced at Lecia, who was waiting right behind Val. "Very well," she replied. "Just don't leave it behind when we pack up, all right?"

"Okay. Thanks!" Val said, snatching up the pitcher, and the two children dashed to an area a few meters away, where they immediately huddled around the pitcher.

Filia and Lina began talking again, but Xellos found himself distracted when he heard Lecia ask Val to watch something. All his attention was immediately riveted on his daughter, and slowly the edges of his magic-sense began to tingle. "Oh, Lecia, don't!" he cried, but it was too late. Lecia screamed and there was a loud, percussive sound as smoke began to billow out from in between the children.

Filia shouted as well and her eyes became the size of saucers. "What was that?" she gasped, a horrified look on her face as she clutched at her collarbones with her free hand.

Lina took one look at the children and sighed, shaking her head. Xellos pressed his lips together and exhaled through his nose. Their eyes met and they shrugged simultaneously, then looked at the young ones. Val was staring at the charred grass and pottery fragments, a bemused look on his face, and Lecia was waving her hands back and forth, constantly glancing back at her parents with a frightened, worried expression on her face.

"My pitcher!" Filia wailed, finally spotting the wreckage strewn all over the grass.

Lecia looked at Filia and her big, amethyst eyes filled with tears. "Daddy!" she gurgled, getting to her feet and running to him as fast as her little legs would carry her. She threw herself in his lap and buried her face in his shirt, weeping.

Xellos bit his lip, trying not to laugh, and gently hugged his daughter. "You should have known better to cast a spell you can't control yet," he said softly.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," the little girl sobbed.

"It's okay, Lecia," Lina said. "We'll just get Filia a new pitcher. You don't need to cry, you just need to apologize."

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Lecia whimpered, peeping over Xellos' bicep at her mother.

"I appreciate that," Lina replied, "but Filia's the one you need to apologize to. It was her pitcher."

Lecia turned to Filia, eyes brimming with tears. "I-I'm sorry," she hiccuped. "I'm sorry I broke your pitcher."

Val appeared at Xellos' side, a gentle smile on his face. "I thought it was a fun trick," he said softly. "Thanks for showing it to me."

Lecia just stared at him, blinking as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Lecia, what do you say to someone who tells you something nice?" Xellos prompted.

"Thank you, Val," Lecia mumbled, pressing herself into her father's body once more but keeping her eyes on Val.

"Mom, I'm sorry we broke your pitcher," Val added, going over to Filia.

Filia tore her attention away from the smoking remains of her pottery and blinked at her son. It seemed to take her a moment to realize what was going on, then she smiled weakly at the boy. "It's okay, honey, we'll just pick up a new one from the shop tomorrow."

Val brightened considerably and sat down next to his mother, helping collect the remaining dishes. Xellos smiled, feeling content as he rubbed Lecia's back, then looked up at the sky. "It's going to rain," he said. "We should go."

The rain began before they got in the house, Xellos holding one of the blankets over everyone's heads as they neared their home. He ushered everyone inside, then shook out the blanket and followed them. As he stood in the kitchen, water dripping from his bangs into his eyes, he noticed that Filia was the only one left in the room. He wrung the blanket out in the sink, then hung it next to the hearth, spreading it out as best he could. His shirt was soaked through and through, clinging to his skin, and it felt clammy and cold from the autumn rain. Grunting, he tore off the shirt and wrung it out in the sink as well, noticing that Filia's eyes were roving over his torso as he turned to hang his shirt next to the blanket. Filia caught his eyes and blushed deeply, turning away. "Like what you see?" he grinned.

"No," she said sharply, then realized how that sounded. "I mean, you're a lot more muscular than you look, for a thin man, I mean, well ..."

Xellos put his hands on his hips and chuckled. "Just as uptight as ever, I see," he said brightly. "Honestly, you are so easy to embarrass."

"I am NOT uptight!" Filia growled.

Xellos waved a hand in her direction, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, come on. You see a half-naked man and your composure completely crumbles. Honestly, it's not like your attracted to me or anything!"

Filia pursed her lips and scowled at him for a moment, then her expression turned to one of sadness and she rushed from the room without a word. Xellos stared after her for a few moments, then sighed. Damn that Filia, she was always trouble. It was just one more reason why he hadn't wanted to visit her.

Having put away most of the picnic supplies, he decided it would be in his best interest to make sure Lecia wasn't somewhere in the house in her wet clothes, ruining furniture and catching cold. Filia must have fled to her room to change, for she was nowhere in sight, and after a brief search he found his daughter. She was, surprisingly enough, in with her mother. Lina was changing the little girl's clothes, just buttoning up a dry shirt, when Xellos walked in the room. "Thank you," he said to Lina.

She shrugged and patted Lecia on the back, signaling she was finished. The girl threw her arms around Lina's neck for a moment and squeezed, then bounded out of the room, calling Val's name. "She's my kid too, you know," Lina said quietly.

"I know, and I'm glad for it," he replied. He walked over and sat next to Lina on the bed, putting his arms around her. "How are you doing?" he asked.

Lina sighed and leaned into him. "I can't believe it's only three o'clock," she murmured. "It feels like it has been years since this morning. I'm just exhausted, and I'm tired of being pregnant."

"I know, I know," he crooned, stroking her fiery hair. "It'll be over in just a couple more weeks."

"Thank the gods."

"Is there anything I can get you?"

Lina shook her head and scooted past him, reclining on the pillows. "No, I just want to sleep," she mumbled, stretching. "I'm so tired."

Xellos smiled and helped her position herself on the bed. "Shall I wake you for dinner?" he asked.

"If I'm up I'll eat, if not I'll grab something later," she sighed.

"Very well, then," he said softly, tucking her under the covers. "Sweetest of dreams."

"I'll try," she replied, and he sat with her until she dropped off. He stayed for a few long moments, examining her dainty features and petite frame. Her skin was pale and smooth like porcelain, and her hair was such a brilliant color he wondered for a moment if someone so fair could possibly be real. He couldn't imagine a woman more beautiful than Lina, and for the first time he seriously suspected that she had captured his heart. It had always been obvious to him that he cared for her, but it seemed that perhaps it went more deeply, right to the core of his soul.

"Is this what's called love?" he asked quietly, reaching down and gently taking a lock of Lina's shining mane, lifting it to his nose and inhaling its lovely scent. He fingered her silky hair for a while more, then stood. At the door he paused and turned back to her with a smile. "I'm grateful to you, Lina, for showing me what it means to be human," he murmured, and closed the door silently behind him.

It had been quite the trick convincing Lecia and Val to play games quietly so Lina could rest, and supper had been a touch-and-go affair. Still, the sun went down, the children went to bed, he cleaned up after supper while Filia worked on her needlepoint, and it was finally his turn to rest. He slipped into bed next to the slumbering Lina and fell asleep listening to the rain beating patterns on the ground outside.

It seemed like he had only been asleep a few minutes, but when he awoke with a start he saw that the clock read after midnight. Falling back on the pillows, he heaved a great sigh and rolled over, groping for Lina. His hand touched only empty air, however, and he sat up again in bed. "Lina?" he whispered, knowing as he opened his mouth that she wouldn't answer. Only the pattering of rain echoed through the room and he slid from the bed, pulling on his trousers. He left the bedroom and padded through the entire house, his sense of alarm growing as she was nowhere to be found. He had just finished searching the kitchen when he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye, and he immediately went to the window. Lina was outside, standing in the rain with her face upturned.

"Lina!" he hissed, dashing outside after her in his bare feet. "What are you doing out here?"

She turned and looked at him, eyes shadowed by her bangs. "It was too hot inside," she explained.

Xellos immediately wrapped his body around hers, trying to keep off the rain. "You'll get sick, standing out here in nothing but your nightgown!" he protested. "It's the middle of autumn!"

"I don't care," she murmured. "It feels nice."

"Please, let's go inside," he begged, moving around to face her and taking her by the hands.

Her fingers came up and traced the grooves between the muscles of his abdomen, his skin already slippery with the cold rain. "I don't know what to think," she whispered, her voice almost drowned out by the sound of the storm. "I don't know what to feel. You used to be a Monster, but you're not anymore. You're just a human man, the father of both my children. Sometimes I wonder if I had any choice in the matter, or if I was always doomed to have your offspring. How did my life change and warp so much that I'm with you now? Why you?"

There was an odd tenderness in her words, but there was also much confusion and pain. He felt adrift and helpless at that moment, feelings not helped by the fact that he was half-naked and shivering in the rain. Answers to her questions eluded him, and if there was one thing Xellos was used to having, it was answers. "I don't know," he breathed. "I don't know what happened, and I don't care. All that matters to me is that you're happy and safe."

"Am I safe?" she asked him, raising her face so that he could dimly see the outline of her jaw in the darkness. Her eyes caught what little light there was and glittered in the shadows, impossible for him to read. "Am I happy?"

Xellos felt something twist inside of him. "I can't answer those questions for you, dearest Lina," he said softly. "I only can hope that the answer is yes, and, if it isn't, that there's something I can do to make it yes."

"Xellos," she groaned, pitching forward and clinging to his bare, wet shoulders.

"Lina," he replied tenderly, folding her into his embrace.

"No, Xellos," she gasped, her fingernails digging into his skin. "Oh gods, it started!"

Xellos' eyebrows knitted and he stared down at her. "What?" he asked, alarmed.

"The baby, it's time," she groaned, gripping him tightly.

"Oh!" he cried, quickly sweeping her off of her feet. "We have to get you inside!"

"Dammit, I hate this part," she wheezed, eyes shut tight.

Xellos kicked open the back door and raced through the house, stripping her of her wet nightgown and setting her on the bed. He tucked the covers up around her and dashed up the stairs, not even bothering to knock as he entered Filia's room. "The baby's coming!" he hissed, shaking her awake.

Filia sat up partway in bed, rubbing her eyes, her blonde hair sticking every which way. "What?"

"The baby, my baby's coming!" he repeated, voice intense but quiet.

Filia's eyes napped wide open and she batted away his hands. "How much longer?" she asked, leaping from her bed and throwing on a robe.

"How should I know?" Xellos replied anxiously. "I've never been present for a human birthing before!"

Filia clutched her robe shut and began to hurry down the hallway. "And just what sort of births have you been at?" she growled.

"Just the creation of Monsters, if you can call that a birth," he whispered.

Filia snorted and rounded a corner, bursting into Lina's room. She rushed over to the panting woman and put a hand on her forehead. "Miss Lina? Are you okay?"

Lina scowled at Filia, most of her face in shadow. "I'm in labor, god damn it all! Do you THINK I'm okay?"

Filia pursed her lips and looked at Xellos. "Light," she ordered, and he was immediately busy lighting candles, his heart pounding.

"It's coming into the world!" he breathed. "My child's coming!"

"Shut up!" Lina hissed. "How dare you do this to me?"

"Miss Lina, please try to calm down. It'll just make it more difficult if you're angry. Now, how far apart are your contractions?"

Lina clenched her jaw and made a low, pained sound. "There was one," she panted. "I'll let you know when the next one comes."

Xellos watched the clock anxiously, every second seeming like a thousand years. "There," Lina groaned.

"Five minutes," Xellos reported. "What does that mean?"

Filia's eyes went wide. "How long have you been having contractions?" she cried.

"At least a couple of hours," Lina replied, suddenly seeming drained. "I got too hot, so I went outside, and then my water broke."

"How long were you in that rain?" Xellos exclaimed, feeling very, very worried.

"Hell if I know," Lina said, leaning back into the pillows and closing her eyes.

"I have to get the midwife," Filia murmured. "Stay here with her."

"As if there's any other place I'd rather be," he said softly, pulling up a chair and sitting by Lina's side. He took her hand in his and squeezed it, smiling at her gently. "You are so incredible," he whispered.

"You'll be even more impressed when you see me push something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a lemon," she growled.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked anxiously.

"Not unless you can make the pain stop," she said angrily.

Xellos smiled as something occurred to him. He carefully undid the ring around her neck and slid it onto her finger, repeating the process with himself. "I'll do my best," he replied.

Suddenly she turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. "I don't like pain," she whispered. "I'm glad you're here this time."

"I would rather die than be anywhere else," he said earnestly.

"Val went to town to fetch the midwife," Filia announced, entering the room again, and Xellos could just barely hear the flapping of wings.

"He's awfully young," Xellos commented. "Will he be okay?"

Filia sniffed. "He might only be eight, but he is a dragon. Dragon forms mature much faster than human ones. He'll be just fine."

Quite a bit later Val returned with the midwife, Lina letting loose a scream just as the woman entered the room. Xellos gasped as he felt Lina's pain rip into him through the rings, and he thought he would pass out. Apparently giving birth was at least as painful as being ripped to shreds on the astral plane.

The midwife rushed over to Lina's side, trying to push Xellos out of the way. Lina somehow found the strength to sit up and scowled at the woman. "Don't you dare take him away from me," she snarled. "He'll stay right where he is."

The midwife paled and backed off, putting a hand on Lina's abdomen. "Is this your first baby?" she asked.

"No, second," Lina grunted, falling backwards onto the pillows. Her face shone faintly with a thin sheen of sweat, and strands of her hair were already beginning to look matted.

"Here, I'll give you this to bite on," the woman said, trying to insert a stick between Lina's teeth.

"What are you doing?" Xellos said sharply, snatching the stick away. "You're not going to put that in MY mate's mouth!"

Lina cried out again, writhing on the bed. "What's going on?" a little voice said, and Xellos turned to see Lecia and Val come into the room. The boy's hair was wet and he was shivering and pale. Lecia stared at her mother, eyes wide. "What's wrong with Mommy?" she demanded, groping for the nearest physical presence, which happened to be Val. She latched onto his shirt, and clung there, lower lip trembling.

"She's having the baby," Xellos said as gently as he could, motioning her over.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Lecia asked, dashing over and crawling into his lap. She put her little hand over Lina's and gripped it hard.

"Fine," Lina panted. "It's normal. Yours birth wasn't any easier."

"See, she'll be all right," Xellos said with a smile. "Your mom's the strongest woman on the planet."

"Don't you forget it," Lina growled, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her jaw.

"Kiss Mommy and go wait outside with Val," Xellos ordered, watching as Lecia carefully kissed Lina on the cheek.

"Be careful," Lecia said, her voice grave.

"Sure," Lina replied. "Now scoot."

Lecia slid off of Xellos' lap without a word and let herself be led away by Val. "How much longer?" Xellos asked the midwife.

The midwife examined Lina, then shook her head. "She looks fairly dilated, but it's hard to tell. It could be an hour, maybe six."

"That long?" Xellos gasped.

"It was very, very long with Lecia," Filia added. She had been standing in the corner the entire time, blue eyes filled with worry.

Lina screamed again. "That's it, I'm pushing!" she declared, her face red.

"No, you can't, not yet," the midwife protested as Lina roared in pain.

Xellos almost fell out of the chair with the awful tearing sensations the ring was conveying to him. "No, it's not supposed to be like this," he said sharply. "The midwife in Abton said that Lina would have an easier birth if she was sitting or squatting."

The midwife scowled at Xellos. "I believe I'm the authority here," she said sharply.

Xellos felt anger flare up inside of him, and he could tell by the expression on Lina's face that she was aware he felt it, too. "Not if I say you aren't," he said coldly. "I've spoken with numerous midwives on the way here, and the general consensus seems to be that the easiest way is the opposite of the way you're having her do it."

"It's the mother's choice," the midwife sniffed.

"Well, dearest?" he asked the groaning Lina. "Can trying something new possibly be any worse than last time?"

Lina regarded him. "Hell no," she replied after a moment.

Xellos nodded. "Fine, then. She needs to be made to feel as safe and comfortable as possible, and I think she'd be more relaxed if you two weren't in here."

"What?" the midwife howled. "But who will deliver the baby?"

"Xellos, I don't think this is a good idea," Filia added.

"Hush, both of you," he ordered. "It's Lina's baby and I'm the father. We'll decide what happens. As to the delivery, I can do it myself, and I can call you in when Lina's finished. If there are any complications I'll let you know right away. After all, you'll only be on the other side of that door."

"Sir, I don't think that's a-" the midwife began, but was cut short by Filia's hand on her shoulder.

"I know it seems strange," Filia said softly, "but let him do it. He won't let her or the baby come to harm, I know it."

Xellos felt oddly tender towards Filia in that moment. "Thank you," he mouthed, and Filia merely nodded, ushering the midwife from the room."

He smiled tenderly at Lina, who looked at him as if she was dazed. "Let's try this a different way, all right?" he asked gently.

"Do you know what you're doing?" she grated.

"I know what I've been told," he replied. "It's just you and me, now. Do you trust me? Are you comfortable with me?"

"Yes, I trust you, and if I wasn't comfortable around you I wouldn't have let you touch me the way you do," she answered, weakly taking his hand.

"I won't let anything happen to either of you, I promise," he said solemnly, lifting her from the bed and helping her to squat next to the hearth. He put a thin blanket around her shoulder and let her cling to him for support.

"I believe you," she whispered, closing her eyes.

He rubbed her back gently, clearing her hair from her face. "Relax, Lina," he cooed. "Don't focus on the pain. Just let that baby be born."

"But it hurts," she groaned, her body tightening.

Xellos took a deep breath and reached through the ring, snatching her agony from her and taking it into his own body. It felt as if he was being ripped in two, but he was used to that feeling. He had been tortured well enough by Xellas and Lina both that it was nothing new to him. "How's that?" he said as brightly as he could.

She turned clear, ruby eyes on him, her lips parted. "It's gone," she whispered. "How did you do that?"

"The rings," he replied simply, not trusting his voice to stay strong. "Now, just concentrate on pushing."

Lina squeezed his hands more tightly, leaning against him, and grunted, face scrunched up as she tried to expel the baby from her body. Xellos moved behind her so that she could relax into him, his hands resting lightly on her womb. Lina took a few deep breaths as he constantly funneled her pain away from her through the rings, then she pushed again.

"Good," he murmured. "You're amazing. It'll be over soon."

"Define 'soon'," she growled. "If you think it's so much fun then maybe you should try it."

"I'd do it in your stead if I could," he explained. "Now, again."

Lina let out a long, slow breath and her body dropped slightly. The ripping sensation he was taking from her increased, and he knew that the baby was close to crowning. He wasn't sure how, but through the rings he could feel the tides in her body change, the lines of energy and strength altering every so slightly. His heart began to pound away rapidly in his chest and he was excited and exhilarated, in spite of Lina's birthing pains. He couldn't believe he was actually witnessing the arrival of a new life into the world, a life he had helped create. "AH!" Lina cried, pushing again, and Xellos felt something inside of her give. He slowly moved around to face her, kneeling in front of her and letting her brace herself with her hands on his shoulders. There, he could see it! He could see the baby's head!

"I can see it," he breathed, so excited that he nearly forgot to continue to siphon away her pain. "I can see our baby!"

Lina was too busy concentrating to answer, pushing again. "Augh," she groaned, sweat streaming down her skin.

"Just a little more," he murmured, readying his hands beneath Lina.

"Easy for you to say," she wheezed.

Xellos was lightheaded from Lina's pain, but he forced himself to stay focused. Between the agony and the anticipation he thought his head would explode, but somehow he managed to keep his attention on Lina. "There," he said. "Just one more big push and it's all over. You can do it, Lina."

"Screw you," Lina panted.

Xellos managed to catch her eye and winked at her. "Anytime," he said with a smile, and Lina began to laugh. She laughed so hard, in fact, that the motion caused her final contraction and the baby slid from her body into Xellos' waiting hands. He froze, staring at the tiny squirming figure in his hands, unable to comprehend what he held. "Sweet dark lords," he breathed. "It's our son, Lina, we have a son!"

Lina groaned and sat down heavily next to the hearth, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. "Thank the gods," she murmured.

"It's a baby boy!" Xellos chortled, excitement completely washing away the pain he had felt just moments before. He wanted to get up and shout, to dance and scream his joy to the world. Such elation had never filled him before in all his existence and he thought for sure his heart would stop from the power of his own emotions. "Oh, you beautiful miracle-worker!" he cried, leaning forward and kissing Lina passionately on the mouth. "What a wondrous thing you have bestowed upon me, giver of life!"

Just then the baby began to cry, his little limbs shaking. "Here," Lina said, holding out trembling hands, and Xellos reluctantly gave the child up.

"Midwife! Filia! Come in and meet my son!" Xellos crowed, scrambling over to Lina and cradling both her and the child.

Filia burst through the door and rushed over as the midwife produced some of her tools and deftly cut the baby's umbilical cord. The woman proceeded with cleanup, taking care of the afterbirth and the like while Filia began to cast her healing spells on Lina.

"What? What?" Lecia cried, trotting into the room.

"Lecia!" Xellos called, gesturing her over. As soon as she was within reach he snatched her up, including her in his embrace. "You were right, little one! You have a baby brother!"

Lecia grinned and stared down at the baby. "Hello, little brother," she said gently. "You and I are going to be best friends." She examined the newborn carefully, then looked at her parents and wrinkled her nose. "He's awfully gooey and he looks like a raisin," she giggled. "Babies are icky!"

"He'll get cuter with time," Xellos explained. "After all, he's just been through a traumatic experience."

"Finished," Filia said, and Xellos felt a wave of relief from Lina through the rings.

"May I examine the child?" the midwife asked, and Lina immediately gave the baby up. The midwife carefully studied him for a few moments, then rattled off a list of instructions to Xellos. "Unless I don't need to tell you any of this, since you know it all," she said somewhat sharply. "Still, he's a very healthy baby, even for being a bit early."

"He's an Inverse," Xellos explained with a smile. "They rarely adhere to convention." He watched as Lina took back the child and held it to her breast. "Better than last time?" he whispered.

"A million times," she murmured, gazing gently down at the baby.

Xellos grinned. "Filia, could you please make sure this good woman is paid and arrives home safely?"

Filia nodded. "You had better pay me back, Xellos," she growled, but she was smiling.

"Of course," he replied.

"Please, this way," Filia said, escorting the midwife.

Lecia bounded from Xellos' embrace and pranced around Val. "I have a baby brother! I have a baby brother!" she sang.

Val smiled at her. "You're lucky," he said.

"I know!" Lecia squealed. "Mommy and Daddy had him just for me to play with!"

"Can I play with him too?" Val asked.

"Sure!" Lecia agreed.

Lecia sang and danced until Filia came back. "Come, children. Let them rest. Having babies is hard work."

"But-" Lecia began to protest.

"Little one, your mommy and brother need rest," Xellos said gently. "You can see them in the morning, when they are stronger."

Lecia hung her head. "Okay," she mumbled, then dashed over. She hugged Xellos and Lina, then very reverently leaned down and kissed the top of her brother's head. Xellos wasn't sure, but he thought he spotted some moisture in Lina's eyes as she watched Lecia's lips meet with the crown of the newborn's head.

"Good night, little one," Xellos murmured.

"Good night Mommy and Daddy! Good night brother!" Lecia squealed, then was towed out of the room by Val.

Xellos sighed as the door shut, feeling relief and joy wash over him. "Absolutely amazing," he breathed. He gathered up Lina and the baby and carried them to the bed, leaning down to smell the newly-cleaned baby. "You are a miracle-worker, dearest Lina."

Lina reached out and caught his hand in hers. "Thank you, Xellos," she said, voice thick and eyes shining. "Thank you very much."

Xellos smiled and stepped away, removing his trousers and going over to the other side of the bed to slip in beside her. "Thank you," he replied, and gazed at Lina and their newborn child until they fell asleep.

Xellos awoke before Lina, gently clearing her tangles of hair from his face and propping himself up on his elbow so he could better see the new addition to his family. Pride and joy washed through him like a flood, obliterating any thought but the happiest and most wholesome. He felt clean and pure, his skin warm from the pride that was burning inside of him. Lina was a woman like no other, he was sure of it. She was strong, passionate, and intelligent. Her might had brought their son into the world, and Xellos felt his face stretch in a smile.

Lina's countenance in slumber was one of the most beautiful things he had ever beheld in his life, and he remembered feeling pleasure looking at her even when he was a Monster. It wasn't the same kind of pleasure, but it had been satisfying nonetheless. Now, to look at her through mortal eyes, she was breathtaking indeed. Her pale, flawless skin was slightly rosy with body heat, her eyelids shining faintly above thick lashes. Her rosebud lips were parted slightly, and he longed to be the breath that passed between them. The full lower curve of her breast peeked out from underneath the comforter, and pressed against it was his son. His son, flesh of his flesh, life of his life. He had two children, a boy and a girl, and the knowledge filled him with a sense of completion. His life was full and balanced. Now, if only he could clear things up with Lina.

He was just beginning to worry about his relationship Lina when his gaze swept over the infant boy. The child's fingers seemed very long, and suddenly Xellos felt an image flash across his brain. It was a vision of a young man with a brilliant smile and sparkling eyes, tall and sturdy of frame. The man's laugh rippled through his awareness like the ringing of a silver bell and Xellos blinked, dazed. The image faded in his mind, and as he examined his son's tiny hand he realized that the boy would most likely grow up to be tall, perhaps even taller than him.

Slowly he reached over to the child, tracing the curve of the chubby, pink cheek with the tip of his finger. The baby's skin was softer than anything he had felt in his life and something inside of him melted. How precious the infant was! His heart suddenly grew heavy when he realized that he had missed seeing Lecia so new in the world. He smiled sadly and gently stroked the baby's head. The child had plenty of hair already, and what was there was red and unruly, random curls threatening to form here and there. "You have your mother's hair," he murmured, overwhelmed with tenderness.

Lina awoke as he spoke, eyes fluttering open and fixing him with her ruby gaze. Her face was nearly lost in the cascade of her fiery hair as it spilled every which way. "What time is it?" she asked softly, slender hand caressing the baby's back.

Xellos cleared the hair away from her face and kissed her on the forehead. "It's a few hours after dawn," he replied. "I think Filia's up, but the children must still be in bed. It's far too quiet."

Lina smiled and nodded, rolling onto her back and setting the baby boy on her chest. "I'm actually not too tired," she muttered, fingers toying with the child's hair.

"I wish I could say the same," Xellos said, scooting over to her and putting his arms around her, resting his head on her breast so he could be at the same eye level as the child. "I'm pleased you're feeling well, however, and am glad you're not exhausted."

"Well, it's no wonder why," she sighed. "You didn't have to do what you did."

"What do you mean?"

"I've given birth before, and I know how bad it hurts. Last night you took all the pain away from me. I know you did, so don't even think about lying to me."

Xellos chuckled and nuzzled her full breast. "What was I supposed to do? You were in agony and I knew how to remedy it. All I did was act upon that knowledge."

He closed his eyes and smiled as he felt Lina run her fingers through his hair. "Thank you," she murmured.

Just then the baby woke up, making little cranky noises and weakly moving against Lina. Xellos sat up and stared in amazement, a part of him unable to believe that the tiny creature was actually real and not some sort of doll. "Is he okay?" he asked.

Lina chuckled and sat up as well, hastily arranging some of the pillows behind her. She reclined and shifted the child. "He's just hungry. He's not used to having to feed," she explained. "Watch."

Xellos stared as Lina lifted the baby to her nipple and the child began to suckle. He watched for a few moments, entranced, then noticed that Lina was looking at him. Faking a sigh, he shrugged and shook his head. "I can't believe I'll have to share them," he said wistfully, then winked at her.

"I didn't nurse Lecia more than a few times," Lina murmured, her smile fading. "I left too quickly."

Xellos rested his hand on her knee and leaned in, kissing her on the cheek. "Please don't fret over it," he replied. "It's in the past, and I'm certain she doesn't hold it against you."

"If only things had been different..." she sighed.

He studied her carefully for a few moments, then turned the full force of his amethyst gaze on her. "If my life had been my own, they would have been."

Lina smiled and nodded. "I believe you. It took me a while, but I believe you."

Xellos grinned and cuddled down next to her again, watching in hushed amazement as his son fed. He couldn't believe how incredible Lina's body was. Not only did it make babies, incubate them, and send them into the world, but it fed them after the birth as well. Finally the child seemed sated and Lina wiped off her nipple with a corner of the sheet. "Are you hungry as well?" he asked.

Lina's smile widened. "Are you really asking me that?"

Xellos laughed and slid out of bed, pulling on his trousers and a shirt. "You're right," he chuckled. "The arrival of the baby must have made me foolish."

"Definitely," she replied, handing him the baby as she also got out of bed and dressed.

"He's so beautiful," Xellos murmured, rocking back and forth slowly as he looked down at the child. He gently fingered the baby's chin and chest, smiling in delight.

"Don't worry, he'll get cuter with time."

"I don't see how. He's perfect already."

Lina laughed. "You won't think so when he's up crying all night. Besides, surely you remember what diaper-changing was like."

Lina reached for the child and Xellos reluctantly returned him. "Let's go get something to eat, shall we?"

They were only up for about fifteen minutes, Xellos' body feeling achy and sore from taking on all of Lina's pain the night before, when Lecia burst into the room, hair wild and eyes excited. She was towing a sleepy Val, who also had bed-head and was rubbing his eyes as Lecia tugged on his sleeve. "Mommy! Daddy!" the little girl shouted. "How's the baby?"

"Hush, Lecia," Xellos said gently. "You shouldn't yell. It might scare your brother."

Lecia's eyes grew even wider and she clamped her mouth shut immediately. "Sorry," she whispered from between clenched teeth. "How's the baby?"

Val blinked and looked around. "Where's my mom?"

Xellos shrugged and picked Lecia up, holding her on his hip as he flipped eggs with his other hand. "I assume she went into town. Would you like breakfast?"

"Yes, please," Val said, constantly sneaking looks at the newborn.

Xellos smiled and kissed the side of his daughter's head. "Would you like to see him?" he asked the boy.

Lina nodded. "Here, Val, take a look," she said gently.

Val crept over to Lina and stared down into her arms at the infant. "He's really small," the child breathed.

"He's brand-new," Xellos chuckled. "Don't worry, he'll get bigger."

"My brother's brand-new," Lecia repeated with a giggle.

"He's sorta wrinkly," Val blurted, then looked at Lina with wide eyes, cheeks stained pink. "I-I'm sorry..."

Lina laughed. "Don't be. Newborn babies are actually pretty gross. He won't get really cute for a while yet."

"Did I look like that, Mommy?" Lecia asked, still clinging to her father.

"You sure did," Lina replied. "You looked like that for weeks and weeks."

"Ewwww!" the little girl squealed.

"Eggs are finished," Xellos announced, setting Lecia on the floor. "Set the table, please."

"Okay!" Lecia shouted, the volume of her voice making the baby squirm and make little sounds.

"Babies don't like that much noise, Lecia," Lina said gently.

Lecia ran over to Lina and stared down at the baby. "I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing the infant's soft skull.

"That's better," Xellos said. "Now please help with the dishes."

"All right," Lecia murmured, quickly setting about her task.

Before long, Xellos had whipped up some pancakes and sausage as well, Lina shoveling food into her mouth as Xellos sat in a chair nearby and cooed at the baby. Val and Lecia muttered to one another, every once in a while casting glances at the child, and Xellos would merely shoot them his typical smile. "You're my little treasure, do you know that?" Xellos crooned to the baby, who merely blinked at him myopically. "You're my very own little son, and I will always be there to take care of you." He gently traced the tiny palm of his baby with a finger, inhaling sharply with delight as the child's small fingers closed around his digit.

"He already knows he's safe with his father," Lina murmured next to him, putting down her knife and fork long enough to give him a tender look.

Xellos smiled beatifically, feeling as if his face would split with joy. "I can't believe we made this, dearest Lina," he whispered. "I can't believe this miracle is ours."

"Mine, too!" Lecia protested, coming over. "When will he start talking?"

Lina reached over and kneaded the baby's foot gently. "Not for a long time. He has a lot of growing and learning to do before he can start speaking."

Lecia stuck out her lower lip. "When can he play with me?"

Lina reached out and pulled Lecia into her lap, kissing the girl on the crown of her head. "Not for a couple of years. You're quite a bit older than he is, and while you started to grow pretty quickly, there's no telling what he'll be like."

"He'll be wonderful, if he's anything like his mother," Xellos replied. "He has your hair, you know."

"And he'll probably battle with it all his life, like I have. Look at his eyes, Lecia. Whose do they look like?" Lina said softly, pressing her cheek to her daughter's.

Lecia's eyes narrowed as she peered at her baby brother. "They look like Daddy's," she declared. "And they look like mine, too. We're both Daddy's babies."

Xellos smiled and nodded, kissing the boy. "Yes, you are my children. You both have the same blood, and you have to take care of one another no matter what. No one else in the whole wide world will ever be your brother."

"He's my only brother," Lecia mouthed. "Can I hold him?"

Xellos looked at Lina. "I think she can, so long as she's in your lap. She won't be able to drop him if you're holding on to both of them."

Lina shrugged. "Okay. Hold out your arms, Lecia, and don't you dare let go of him."

"I won't," Lecia breathed, her eyes wide with wonder as Xellos gently put the infant into Lecia's arms. She carefully held him, supporting his head, and stared down at him in wonder.

Xellos smiled and sat back in his chair, reveling in the sight of Lina holding both their children in her lap. They actually looked like a family, and even Lina looked content. The scene made his insides warm and it felt sweet, as if he was drunk on honey. His smile broadened as his heart became full, and then he spied Val.

The boy was sitting at the far end of the table, his plate cleaned off in front of him, golden eyes fixed on Lina, Lecia, and the baby. His little body was slumped somewhat in the chair and he pressed his lips together. Something in the child's golden eyes seemed hollow, and Xellos felt compassion wash over him. It was an entirely new emotion, he realized. He had never felt tender towards anyone not of his family before. Well, perhaps he knew Val well enough to consider him part of the family. "Come here, Val," he said, and the boy stood.

"Yes?" Val asked, stopping just inches from Xellos' knee.

Xellos grinned and scooped the boy off his feet, pulling him into his lap. "You're not alone. We can all be a kind of family, okay?"

Val was tense at first, then tentatively put an arm around Xellos' shoulder. "Okay," he murmured, and Xellos smiled, giving the boy a hug. Val eventually leaned back into Xellos' body, relaxing, and leaned his head against Xellos' collarbones. "I like having you guys here."

"We like being here, little Val," Xellos replied. "Pretend like Lina and I are your aunt and uncle, okay? Lecia and the new treasure can be like your cousins."

Val opened his mouth to reply, then shut it again as his eyes wandered past Xellos to the door. Xellos turned his head to see Filia standing in the entryway, hand on the door frame. Her expression was soft and kind, but there was a longing behind her eyes that he would have had to have been blind not to notice. "It's okay, Val," she said quietly. "They're like family."

"Okay, Uncle Xellos," Val murmured, smiling as he leaned into Xellos' chest again.

Xellos patted the boy's back and watched Filia come over to him. She stood and stared at the baby for a while, then bowed her head. "He's quite comely, for a newborn," she said.

Xellos felt his gaze linger on the child and Lina. "Yes," he replied. "He has his mother's hair."

"Well," Filia sighed. "Come along, Val. Lecia, you should come, too."

Val slid reluctantly from Xellos' lap and went over to his mother, throwing his arms around her and squeezing. Lecia's mouth wrinkled, but she let Xellos take the baby from her and ran to Val, immediately tugging on his shirt. "Why do he have to go?" she asked.

Filia touched the girl gently on the head and smiled. "Because your parents are nesting," she explained.

Lecia scowled. "Nesting?"

Filia nodded. "That's what we dragons call it, when a male and his mate take time to bond with their hatchling. What they need now is some time alone with the newborn."

"But I wanna stay!" Lecia complained, looking at her father with teary eyes.

"He's your brother, silly," Val interjected. "He'll be there for the rest of your life."

Lecia studied Val, then grabbed his hand. "Then you'll have to play with me until he's old enough," she declared. "Let's go."

Filia smiled and ushered the children out the door. "Go back to bed, you two," she chided. "I can take care of things until you're rested."

Xellos nodded and gazed lovingly at his son. "Thank you, Filia," he replied, then felt Lina's hand on his shoulder.

"Let's go nap," she prodded, and they went back to their room.

Xellos decided upon waking from his nap that having children was the best thing in the world. Lina insisted that it would get more difficult, but after lying in bed naked with the other two all day, he was hard-pressed to believe her. It was wonderful to feel his son's bare skin against his own, Lina's silky flesh winding in between both of them. Seeing the infant at Lina's breast made him feel all fuzzy inside as well, and he knew that with the birth of this new child he was thrown even farther into being a human. He already loved his little boy fiercely and he didn't even really know him yet, after all. "I wish this moment could never end," he murmured against her bare shoulder, gazing softly at the nursing baby.

Lina grunted. "Can't say I feel the same," she muttered. "He'll be spitting up and pooping soon enough."

"That's why I wish THIS moment would never end," he repeated, forcing away his emotions. He hadn't been human long enough to describe how her words made her feel. There was a quality of disappointment to them, but also annoyance and hurt. All of it had the effect of making him feel uneasy. Did Lina really hate being with him so much, and did she so detest bearing his children?

"Whatever," Lina mumbled, not looking at him. Her gaze was fixed on the newborn, who let Lina's slippery nipple slide from his mouth as his head lolled in slumber. She didn't seem happy, but she didn't seem upset, either.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting up next to her in bed.

Lina tucked her breast back under the covers and nestled the baby into the curve of her arms. "I'm fine," she replied. "I'm just tired."

He pursed his lips and studied her bowed head, her hair shining like fire in the dim, wintry light. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" he said gently.

A great sigh left her and she shook her head, the silky threads of her hair flying every which way with the movement. "No, I'm fine."

Xellos leaned back against the headboard and took a deep breath. Something was going on in Lina's head, and he was willing to bet that it had to do with Gourry. Was she wishing the child was the swordsman's or perhaps reminiscing on the past? "Well," he said after a few long moments, "if you'd ever like to talk, I'm here."

Lina didn't respond and he was on the verge of genuine worry when the bedroom door flew open and Lecia bounded into the room. "Daddy, Mommy, baby, it's dinnertime!" she shouted, pouncing on the end of the bed.

"Quiet, please," Xellos said quickly, glancing with alarm at the baby, but it was too late. The infant began to squirm and make little noises, and even Xellos, who had no experience with newborns, could tell that crying wasn't far behind.

Lecia clapped her hands over her mouth and stared at him, eyes wide. "Sorry," she breathed from behind her palms, eyes sliding over to the baby. "Auntie Filia says it's time for dinner," she whispered.

"Lecia," a voice hissed from the doorway, and Xellos spotted Val. The boy was leaning around the door, a scowl on his face and his golden eyes narrowed. "Mom told you not to bother them!"

Lecia pouted at Val. "She's not my mommy," she growled. "She can't tell me what to do."

"Can, too," Val retorted.

"Nuh-uh!" Lecia protested.

"Yuh-huh!" Val replied angrily. "Don't be such a stupid girl!"

"Shut up, both of you," Lina snapped, eyes crackling with ire. "Get out of here and let us get up."

"You heard your mother," Xellos added, hoping his aid would improve Lina's mood.

Lecia scowled at him and stamped her foot, but she left the room nonetheless, Val disappearing behind her. Xellos slipped from bed and shut the door with a sigh. "Hold him while I dress," Lina ordered.

He felt oddly defeated as he took the infant in his arms, staring down at the child's shock of red hair. "Kids," he muttered.

"They're such a pain," Lina said, tone suggesting that he had uttered a complaint she agreed with.

Lina took the child from him and he dressed, then the two of them moved to the dining room, where Filia was just putting down the remainder of the food. "Did you have a nice nap?" she asked brightly.

"Sure," Xellos replied halfheartedly, pulling a chair out for Lina. She didn't thank him or even look at him, merely handed the child over and began to scoop copious amounts of food onto her plate.

"Are you feeling all right, Miss Lina?" Filia asked, deep blue eyes flickering with concern.

"Yeah, those healing spells you cast on me did the trick," Lina muttered, shoveling food into her mouth before the others were even served.

Filia stared at Lina for a few moments, then turned to Xellos and the baby. "He's just precious," she cooed, caressing the infant's cheek, and her gaze was almost a physical sensation as it slid up Xellos' neck and met his amethyst eyes. He held her eyes for a moment, then glanced away, slightly uncomfortable. It was odd, since he had always considered Filia beneath him, but she was making him rather uneasy. "What's his name?" she murmured.

Xellos realized he didn't know. "I named Lecia, so I believe it's Lina's turn," he replied.

Lina didn't even look up from her food. "Gorran. His name's Gorran."

Blood turned to ice in his veins and Xellos was certain his heart had stopped beating momentarily. Gorran was awfully similar to the name Gourry, and he suddenly became confident that his earlier speculations on Lina's brooding were correct. Lina had never really wanted to be with him, and he didn't know why he was so surprised. Her heart had always belonged to Gourry and it always would. "Gorran Inverse," Xellos murmured, glancing down at Filia only to find her searching his face.

Something in her expression tightened at the same time her gaze softened. "I can hold him, if you'd like to eat," she said gently.

"I'm not hungry," he murmured, but gave the child to her anyway. "Lecia, are you all served?"

"Yeah," the girl replied, and he looked over at the table. Val was serving her food, taking such huge scoops that he couldn't have eaten his daughter's portion. Chunks of the various dishes were all over the table, not to mention Val's clothes.

"Val, what are you doing?" Filia gasped, moving toward the mess, but Xellos halted her with a hand on her shoulder. Filia looked up at him, lips parted as a slight blush stained the bridge of her nose.

"Don't fret. I'll see to it," he mumbled, and reduced Lecia's portions to a reasonable size as he began to clean up the mess.

"I was just trying to help," Val said defensively, but Xellos could tell his eyes were moist.

"I understand," Xellos replied. "You just need more practice, that's all."

"He tried, Daddy," Lecia repeated, and Val's eyes widened at the sudden, unsolicited support.

"I know, little one. Did you thank him?"

Lecia shook her head, sticking her spoon in her mouth. "Thank you, Val," she mumbled around the flatware.

"Uh, you're welcome," Val said awkwardly, shooting glances at his mother.

Xellos finished tidying up and shot a glance at Lina. She had already plowed through half of the food and showed no signs of stopping. "I'll wait in the parlor with Gorran," he said, nearly choking on the child's name.

Filia seemed reluctant, but she gave the baby up. "Okay," she said softly, her hand plucking at his sleeve. "If you need anything, please let me know."

"I will," he replied, and took his newborn son to a quieter place.

Xellos couldn't believe how quickly the weeks were passing. Winter was upon them full-force, snow blanketing the ground. Gorran was using the time to grow like a weed, his amethyst eyes bright and curious as he slowly became capable of focusing on objects more than a few feet away. Still, it hadn't been easy for Xellos. The wonder he felt at watching Gorran grow was combated by the strange, unsettling emotions he felt for Lina. He cared about her, he really did, and he was starting to get discouraged by the fact that she obviously didn't feel the same way. She seemed to like the baby boy all right, but she wasn't too attached to him. The child was sleeping in a cradle next to their bed, and it wasn't long before Lina was pressuring him to have sex with her, but he just couldn't do it. He felt as if she was using him somehow and just couldn't move past his emotions. Whenever he would feel her silky, smooth touch on his shoulders, neck, or hips he would simply roll over and try to sleep, which certainly didn't improve her relationship. It was difficult to feel so unsatisfied all the time, both for the emotion itself and the fact that it was preventing him from being the best father he could be to his son. He wanted Gorran's life to be free of doubt, strife, and unhappiness, but unfortunately those emotions were exactly what their lives seemed to be filled with at the moment. The only person that didn't seem to notice was Lecia. Even Val sometimes carefully crept through the room when Lina was berating Xellos for something or another, and Filia often made herself scarce when the redhead began using harsh words with the father of her children.

Xellos was locked into his dark thoughts, staring at the gray sky and falling snow, when Filia walked in the room, wiping her hands off on an apron. She had tried to get Xellos to talk about his feelings, but a few utterances of "it's a secret" seemed to make her realize that he really didn't want to discuss such things with her. In all reality, he didn't even see her that often. Filia went to work in her shop during the day, and Lina had taken to accompanying her, bringing Gorran along. Xellos was never invited, nor was he actually asked to stay home. It sort of bothered him sometimes that he was simply expected to stay home and care for Lecia and Val. Not that he minded playing with the little ones, since he adored them, but he found that he would have liked some say in the matter. In the old days, when he was a Monster, free will hadn't mattered to him so much. He had taken in stride the fact that others made his decisions for him. Now, as a human, he decided he liked having free will and was peeved that he didn't ever seem to get the opportunity to exercise it. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Define 'okay'," he replied.

She paused as she came even with him, her eyes also searching the falling snow. Slowly he felt a pressure on his wrist and he looked down to see that she was gently touching the skin of his forearm. Her cheeks were slightly pink as she looked up at him. "It'll all be fine," she murmured with a faint smile.

"Is that another prophecy?" he asked with a wry curve of his lips.

She shook her head. "We're both different people now, Xellos," she said softly.

"That's certainly true," he replied.

"Xellos!" he heard someone say sharply, and he jerked his forearm away from Filia's touch, feeling oddly guilty to have been comforted slightly by the dragon's nearness. Lina stood in the doorway, cradling Gorran, and glared at him.

Filia took a hasty step away from him and cast her eyes on the floor. Xellos glanced at her, brow furrowing a bit, then fixed his attention on Lina. He wished that the sorceress wasn't so damn beautiful, he decided. It was awful having his breath taken away every time he looked at the person who was making his life such hell. "Yes?" he asked, trying to keep an iron grip on his ever-fleeing patience. The tension between them was really getting to him. After all, it was bad enough that he wasn't sure how he felt about her, but the uncertainty of her feelings and the friction between them was becoming unbearable. There was simply too much confusion and bitterness happening for him to see and move through it effectively.

"Where are the kids?" she snapped, suddenly glaring at Filia.

Xellos felt his stomach turn to lead and sink inside his abdomen. "They're not out back?"

Lina shook her head, her flashing eyes, not quite the color of blood, fixed upon him with withering intensity. "No. There's a storm moving in, too."

Filia paled and clutched at Xellos' sleeve. He tried to pull away as he saw Lina's expression darken, but Filia was gripping him too tightly. "What? And they're still outside?"

"They said they were going to play in the snow," Xellos said. "Lecia promised me they'd stay right out back."

"Well, they're not there," Lina said sharply, rocking back and forth as she cradled Gorran.

Filia turned to Xellos and moved her grip up to his biceps, this time grabbing him with both hands. "We have to find them!" she said frantically. "It's almost dark!"

Xellos gently pried her fingers loose from his clothing. "I know, Miss Filia," he said as calmly as he could. He had to fight the rising panic inside him, no matter what. "I'll leave right now."

He was already on his way to the door, grabbing his cloak, when Filia grabbed his wrist. "I'm coming with you," she said, blue eyes flat and determined. Her golden eyebrows were drawn together and he thought he had rarely seen her exhibit such inner strength.

Xellos studied her for a moment, measuring her, then nodded once. "All right. Go get your cloak. I'll only wait a second," he replied. Filia dashed from the room and up the stairs, and Xellos took the opportunity to move over to stand in front of Lina. "You'll be okay alone with the baby?" he asked softly.

Lina scowled at him. "Of course, you idiot. What could possibly happen?"

Xellos swallowed all the possible things he knew could go wrong. "You're right, you can take care of yourself," he said. "You've never needed a guardian."

Something in Lina's eyes wavered and she glared at him hatefully. "If anything's happened to Lecia..." she grated.

"I won't let it," he responded, and leaned forward to kiss her on the lips. Lina turned her head at the last moment, forcing him to kiss her cheek. He crushed back the disappointment that raged within him once again and was on his way to the door when Filia trotted up behind him.

"Come on," she urged, grabbing his hand, and the last thing Xellos saw was Lina standing in the middle of the room, clutching their son, refusing to watch him leave.

It wasn't long before he and Filia found themselves in the forest, snow falling silently all around them as the daylight faded. "Val!" Filia screamed. "Lecia!"

Xellos listened intently but heard nothing. No branches broke, no childish giggles could be heard. "Damn it," he whispered. "Lecia?" he shouted, waiting again as silence closed in around them.

Filia clutched at him, blue eyes watery and wide with fright. "Something's happened, I just know it," she moaned.

She was throwing herself against him with such pain and fear that he found it impossible not to put an arm around her as she shivered. "We'll find them, don't worry," he tried to reassure her. "I would rather die than let anything happen to them."

Filia looked up at him, blinking away tears. "I believe you, Xellos. I believe in you. You're a different man than you were five years ago."

"Not just that, I'm an entirely different race," he commented wryly, and was gratified to see a brief smile cross her full lips. Not that he particularly cared about Filia, but things would be easier if she wasn't panicking.

She breathed for a few moments, her breath making little clouds in the chilly air. "I can't hear anything," she said under her breath.

Xellos nodded grimly and concentrated, wishing that his hearing was as sensitive as it had been as a Monster. He regretted losing some of his powers at times like this, not being sure what was more important: his ability to love his family or the power to protect them. Then he heard something; a small, shrill noise came to him from across the snow. "There," he hissed, pointing off through the forest.

Filia's eyes widened and they could barely make out the sound of a little girl's terror-filled shriek. "It's Lecia!" she gasped, but Xellos was already running.

His feet pounded through the deep snow as he chanted his time manipulation spell. He couldn't teleport without putting incredible strain on his body, but he could slow the flow of time. The snow fell more and more slowly around him, and he knew that he could cover quite a bit of ground while the spell lasted. He forced his legs to move as quickly as they would carry him, focusing on the direction he head heard the scream from, and then nearly fell down as time popped back to normal. "Lecia!" he bellowed, his voice echoing back to him.

He had gone far enough that he could clearly hear frightened cries. "Filia!" he shouted. "This way!" As soon as the words were out of his mouth he was running again.

"Coming!" she cried, and he could tell she was flying to him as quickly as she could.

Cursing, he tore through the snow, then saw what was going on. A river coursed in front of him, covered in ice. The pounding of the water drowned out nearly all other noise as it crashed away to the south, only one patch of the flowing liquid visible. The ice on the surface of the river had cracked, leaving a hole, and he saw Lecia clinging to a rock in the middle of the water, clothing soaked and clinging to her. "Hold on!" he screamed, dashing to the riverbank.

"No!" he heard Filia scream, and he could tell she wasn't far behind him.

Xellos clenched his teeth as he levitated to the rock, leaning over and plucking his daughter from the raging current. "Daddy," Lecia sobbed, shivering. Her little lips were blue and her skin deathly cold.

"It's okay, love," he murmured, rubbing gloved hands over her skin, tearing off her wet clothes.

"Is she okay?" Filia asked.

Xellos nodded. "Put her in your clothes and try to warm her up," he directed.

Filia took the little girl and folded her into her cloak, hugging her against her body. "Where's Val?" she asked, eyes wide.

Xellos felt fear rip through his chest and he stood, peering through the increasingly heavy snow. "Val?" he shouted, then heard Lecia crying.

"He went under," she wailed, clinging to Filia.

Filia paled and her knees buckled, nearly sending both her and Lecia face first into the snow. "Val," Filia screamed, tears streaming down her face.

Xellos fought off panic. "It'll be just fine," he said. "Just keep Lecia warm."

"What will you do?" Filia sobbed, crushing the girl's body to her own.

Xellos pressed his lips together, then began to remove his cloak and shirt. "I'm going to go get him," he growled.

"What?" Filia asked, blue eyes wide.

"I'm going to go in that blasted river and find your son," he repeated, bending down and sliding out of his heavy boots.

"But, your clothes," Filia said, lips barely moving.

"I can't swim quickly enough with them on."

"But you'll freeze!"

"Better me than your son," Xellos said quickly. "Listen, I know you'll protect my children. On my honor as a Monster, I can't let you best my efforts."

Her brows furrowed. "But you're not a Monster anymore, Xellos! You're a human!"

Xellos smiled and shook his head, already hopping from one foot to another in the snow. "You know, I do believe you're correct," he said, then turned and dashed off to the river.

"Xellos!" he heard Filia cry, then went deaf as he plunged into the icy water.

The shock of the temperature almost made his brain shut down completely, but he fought past it and forced his limbs to move. The current immediately whipped him away and he grunted as his back hit the ice, shredding his skin. The flow of his blood into the water was the only warmth he had as he turned himself around, desperately trying to see in the frigid water. He kicked out his legs and began to pull himself through the river, searching for any sign of Val and finding none. The breath burned in his lungs as he held it, and he mercifully found a pocket of air. Dammit, what spells would help him? How could he possibly find the boy, and would it be too late?

Plunging beneath the surface again, he ignored the pain in his arm as the current smashed him against a large, sharp rock. He had only been in the water a few minutes and already his fingers and toes were going numb. It wouldn't be much longer before hypothermia would set in and he would be no use to anyone. Well, there was no choice, then, he realized as he braced himself against another rock. When he was secure he opened his senses, channeling his human energy onto the astral plane. He had plenty of astral energy,but it was hard to tap into his alternate awareness when his physical body was under so much stress. He resolutely ignored the cold and shut his eyes, concentrating. Where was the boy? His dragon's form should be easy to spot.... There! Downstream a ways, wrapped around a log! With a shove Xellos launched himself back into the current, his long, powerful strokes moving his body along even more quickly than before. Rolling onto his back, he summoned his magical energy and punched through the ice, trying to keep his movements steady despite his shivering. He grabbed onto the edge of the hole he had made, the ice slicing through the skin of his palm, and pulled himself up into the snowy, freezing air. "Val!" he half-shouted, the other half of his voice consumed in a gasp. He squinted through his thick, dripping bangs as he clambered onto the ice, the bottoms of his feet so cold that he felt as if they were being burned. His toes lost purchase and he fell, scrabbling at the ice with his hands, and the surface cracked underneath him ominously. The ice wouldn't hold for much longer, and he had to find the boy before they were both dead.

He searched for a few more frantic moments, then he located the boy. It should have been easier to see Val, except that his black, feathery wings were draped over his body as he hugged the log. "Val!" he cried, slipping as he scrambled over to the child. He quickly took Val up in his hands, the bleeding cuts on his arms and chest smearing red fluid on the child's pale skin. The boy's flesh was cold and rubbery, his lips violet. Val had apparently tried to transform into a dragon to save himself, but the transformation was incomplete, the wings and tail being the only manifestations of his dragon form. The heavy, dark wings were made even more cumbersome by the fact that they were soaking wet, ice already forming on some of the feathers. Fear clutched Xellos' heart and he pressed his ear to Val's thin chest, trying to listen to a heartbeat over the chattering of his own teeth. It was there, but it was faint.

Xellos realized that time was of the essence. Levitating over to the bank, he paid no heed to his own freezing skin as he set Val in his lap, tilting the child's head back. Pinching Val's nose shut, he sealed his mouth over the boy's and breathed. The breath did not go in and Xellos' heart sank. "Work with me," he hissed, rolling the boy onto his side and gently compressing his ribs. Water flowed from the child's mouth and nose and Xellos picked him back up, trying the procedure again. It still didn't work. He repeated the process a few more times and was finally rewarded as the child began to cough. "Val?" he asked. "Val, hang on."

"Uh?" the child moaned, twitching.

"Hang on," Xellos grated, teeth clenched to keep them from chattering. "Everything will be okay." His body was numb and cold, blackness hovering at the edges of his vision. The skin on his limbs felt heavy, yet fragile, and it was difficult to move. He could no longer feel his feet or his toes, and the bare skin of his chest burned with pain and the freezing air. Ice hung from the ends of his thick, limp hair, and he was tired, so very tired...

With a jerk he sat upright, clutching the boy's body to his own. No, he couldn't sleep. To fall asleep would mean death for the both of them. He pressed the boy against him and rose into the air slowly, his path wobbly as he moved. The sooner they got to Filia, the better. With a grunt he amplified his spell, speeding through the falling snow as night crept up upon him. Time seemed to crawl as he wove through the air, his flight path uncertain, and then he saw a faint light through the trees. It was obviously a light spell, and he moved towards it mindlessly, drawn to its magic like a moth to a flame. A few moments later Filia's frightened face came into view, her eyes searching the encroaching darkness. Her skin was pale and her eyebrows drawn, lips pursed as she vigorously rubbed Lecia's back and limbs. Lecia's sodden clothes, now frozen, were on the ground next to her, and the child's color had been restored to her face.

Xellos landed with a grunt, his knees giving out as his feet touched the snow. He was so frozen that he didn't even really feel the impact, instead dragging himself upright and trudging toward Filia. "Xellos?" she cried aloud, eyes darting about.

"Here," he tried to say, but his lips were too numb. Cradling Val's body, he stepped into the light as Filia wrapped Lecia in Xellos' discarded cloak and dashed over to him.

"Val!" she sobbed, taking the boy's cold form from his stiff arms and crushing him to her. "My baby!"

Xellos tried to smile, but his face wouldn't move. Stumbling, he pitched forward and she caught him against her shoulder, her arm snaking around his bare waist. "Cold," Xellos breathed, closing his eyes and shuddering as blackness began to overtake him.

"Oh gods, you're freezing!" Filia breathed. "And you're bleeding!"

"Scratches," he mumbled, going boneless against her.

"Recovery," she said quickly, and the warmth her spell forced through his body hurt. He was reminded of the agony of becoming human, for the same sort of pain raced through him and pervaded every cell of his being. The spell also must have helped Val, for he began to whimper against his mother and bury his head in the warmth of her neck.

"I can help," Lecia said, teeth chattering as she plodded over to the adults.

"Warm Val," Filia ordered. "Take off the rest of his clothes and wrap him up in that cloak with you, all right?"

"Right!" Lecia replied, taking the larger child's body next to hers and wrapping up next to him as they leaned against a tree.

Xellos blinked and moaned as he tried to move away, but Filia's arms wrapped around his and she pressed her head against his chest. "Thank you," she wept against his bare skin. "Thank you for saving my little boy."

"I had to," Xellos replied weakly. "Who would Lecia play with if I didn't?"

Filia pretended to slap at him, but then pressed his body to hers more tightly. "Xellos," she murmured, and even in his dazed, exhausted state he was able to stiffen as he felt her fingertips move lightly up the cleft of his spine. Her touch danced gently across the muscles of his back and up to his shoulders, and his heart began to race in panic. He knew Filia, thought she was okay, for a dragon, and he would have never expected her to do anything like this. Her touch wasn't demanding or passionate, but it also wasn't entirely chaste. She moved her hands around to his chest and stared at him, turning sad, blue eyes up to his face. Slowly she stood on tiptoe and he was reminded of how tall she was. He usually had to bend quite a bit to kiss Lina.

He didn't want to know what was happening, he didn't want Filia to be touching him. He was cold, exhausted, and shocked. The ghosts of the wounds he had sustained in the river were paining him, and he only wanted to be at home, safe with his children. His jaw clenched as he felt the warmth of Filia's face draw near, and he took a panicked breath. No, no, no, only Lina was for him. Lina was everything to him. Then, mercifully, he felt a peck on the chiseled line of his jaw, her lips landing near his pointed chin. "Thank you," she repeated, and he opened his eyes and looked down at her. Her cheeks were stained pink, although he couldn't tell if it was because of the cold or something else. When she finally raised her eyes to him, though, her gaze was melancholy. Whatever it was that she wanted, he wasn't the man to give it to her.

"We should get those children home," he muttered, unhappy that he was still weak enough that he had to lean on her for support.

"Yes," Filia agreed, and gathered them up as best she could. He felt her concentrate her power, and then everything winked out.

They reappeared in the living room, Lina being the first thing he saw as they arrived. Her fine, coppery eyebrows shot up in surprise and she gently adjusted Gorran against her chest, her eyes meeting Xellos' for the split second before he collapsed. His body hit the floor with a thud and he lay there, cheek pressed against the wood of the floor, as he struggled for breath.

Lina made no move at all to help him, instead regarding his half-naked form with disinterest. "Why the hell are you missing half your clothes?" she said coldly.

The ice in her voice was far, far worse than the ice he had just finished battling. "He pulled our children out of the river," Filia explained, still cradling Val.

"Mommy?" Val murmured, wrapping his arms around her neck.

"Val has pretty wings," Lecia said, dropping the cloak she was wrapped in and crawling onto the couch near her mother.

Lina moved away and scowled at the girl. "Your hair's freezing cold. Don't drip on the baby," she said.

Lecia sat back on her heels and caught Xellos' eye, her gaze full of hurt. "We fell in the river, Mommy," she explained, tears forming in her eyes. "We almost died, but Daddy saved us."

"What happened, Lecia?" Filia asked softly, pulling a blanket off of the sofa and taking Val over to the fire. "How did you get in the river?"

Xellos was still lying on the floor, eyes shut. He realized that he probably could just give up and die right there and no one would notice. With all the regard Lina was showing him, he was tempted. They had just had a child together, and yet if he wasn't willing to give her want she wanted, she wasn't going to have anything to do with him, not even if he was dying. It would be much easier, much less painful, to just let go of his life and pass into oblivion. The only problem with that was that he loved his children and wanted to see them grow. Slowly, painfully, he pushed himself up, feeling his blood struggling to move through his veins. "How did it happen, Lecia?" he croaked.

Lecia shot her mother a withering look and dashed over to Xellos, pressing her warm little body against his cold one. "We were playing in the yard and saw a rabbit. We chased it into the woods, and when I ran across the river, the ice broke. Val tried to turn into a dragon, but he was too cold and got stuck halfway. I was on the rock and he tried to fly to me, but a wind came and he fell in the water and went away," she explained, rubbing her eyes.

"Weren't you worried at all?" Xellos asked, eyes searching Lina's impassive face. She hadn't even asked after his welfare. Fine, he could understand that, on some sick level. She seemed to blame him for everything that happened to her, after all.

Lina sighed and looked down at the baby. "No," she replied. "You were there to look after the children, and Filia was there to look after you." She paused for a moment, then her eyes hardened, cooling much like lava. "Filia can take good care of you."

He couldn't miss the connotations in her voice and he was filled with a hurt anger, the emotion slicing through the cold of his body. "You think that's how things are?" he whispered.

Lina stood, carefully cradling Gorran, and walked over to him. He grunted and leaned back so that he could look her in the face. For a moment he saw concern flicker over her face, then she visibly schooled her reaction and she regarded him dispassionately. "Are you really all right?"

He didn't even want to look at her, so wounded was he. "I'll be fine, eventually," he said. He watched her glance at Filia, who was still seated by the fire, cradling Val, then back at him. Slowly he became aware of a tingling through the ring on his chest, and he realized that she was searching him out, trying to pry into him. Well, she had thwarted him many times when he had tried to use the rings' magic to understand her. Let her have a taste of her own medicine. Concentrating, he sealed off his end of the magic with his willpower. If she wouldn't tell him what was eating her up, he wouldn't tell her. Games were his specialty, and he would show her that, even as a human, he could still play with the best of them.

Lina's face constricted in anger and she narrowed her ruby eyes at him, the dancing firelight reflected in her gaze. "I'm going to bed," she growled, and walked away.

Xellos hung his head, not sure if he wanted to scream at her, break down and cry, or pass out. His body was starting to warm up, but it still ached. "Daddy?" Lecia asked, and he realized she had crawled into his lap.

"Yes?" he murmured, trying to focus on her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Impulse took him over and he reached out, pulling her to him tightly. "I'm so happy you're safe," he choked.

"You're cold!" Lecia said, squirming. "I want to sit on the couch."

Xellos smiled at the unrelated statements and took her hand, following her as she tugged him over to the sofa. He sat down heavily, thankful for the softness of the cushions, and grinned as Lecia fetched a blanket, putting it over him. "Thank you," he said, and Lecia beamed up at him.

"I can take care of you, too," Lecia said solemnly. "I'm a big girl now."

"And getting bigger all the time," Xellos murmured, pulling her close to him as he laid down.

Lecia yawned and snuggled into him. "I'll be the best ever," she muttered, and then her breathing slowed slightly.

"You already are," Xellos whispered, burying his nose in her wet hair. He rejoiced in the fact that his daughter was safe for a few moments more, relief washing over his exhausted, chilled limbs. Soon, however, the coldness of his body took over and he tumbled into a dreamless, numb sleep.

He awoke the next morning with Lecia still curled up next to him on the couch. It took him a few moments to figure out why he had awakened, then heard the front door close. "What?" he mumbled, squinting in the harsh, gray daylight of winter.

"Miss Lina left for the store," Filia said, sitting by the fire with Val. The boy seemed much improved, the color back in his cheeks and his smile as bright as ever.

"Why aren't you going with her?" Xellos asked, sitting up. Lecia stirred beside him and sleepily crawled into his lap, returning to her dream world as soon as she had settled against him once more.

"I will in a couple of hours. I wanted to make sure you were all right and Val would be okay first."

Xellos rubbed his head and yawned. "I'm fine, I think. I'm still a little sore, and my skin feels scraped in spots, but other than that I feel normal."

Filia nodded, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry I didn't heal your wounds all the way. It was difficult, healing two people at once with the same spell."

"Please don't worry about it," Xellos replied. "I'm fine."

Filia folded her hands in her lap and stared at them for long moments. "Thank you for saving my son," she murmured.

Xellos shrugged and stood, pretending not to notice as she stole a few more glances at his bare torso. "It wasn't a problem. I'm happy he's safe."

"Thanks, Uncle Xellos," Val said with a smile, getting out of his chair and running over to Xellos. Xellos grunted and picked the boy up by his ribcage, swinging him into the air.

"It was the least I could do. You got hurt trying to help my precious Lecia, after all."

"I didn't want her to be scared," Val said earnestly, golden eyes flickering.

"You did your best. Just be more careful next time," Xellos said, putting the child down. Val gave him a quick hug, then returned to his place by his mother's side.

"Hungry?" Filia asked.

Xellos sighed and looked out the window, trying to sense Lina. "I suppose," he replied without much enthusiasm.

"Here, let me fix you something," she said, rising.

"No, I can do that in a bit," he protested.

She fixed him with a flat stare. "Oh, hush, you silly man. It's the least I can do for you after last night. Besides, you should let someone take care of you for a change."

"Tell that to Lina," he growled.

Filia pursed her lips. "Lina's difficult, Xellos," she said softly.

He uttered a bitter laugh. "That's an understatement."

Filia simply shook her head and moved off into the kitchen.

She fed him and watched the children while he bathed and dressed, then left for her shop, leaving Xellos alone with the children. He sat on the sofa and read for a while as the children played with puzzles on the rug, but his thoughts eventually turned back to Lina and the difficulties they were having. Why couldn't anything be simple with Lina? Why was she taking out her wrath on him? Oddly enough, he was certain that it wasn't anything he had done that was angering Lina. If that was the case, she would have let him know about it quite some time ago, whether it be through sharp words or a fist to the gut. No, something else was bothering her, and she was just using him to vent. That, actually, bothered him more than if she was actually angry at him. At least if he had upset her he would be more likely to understand what was going on. Still, she had been worried last night, although she tried to act confident and unconcerned. Her machismo hadn't been so flawless that he hadn't been able to see right through it. He also realized that perhaps he was partly to blame. He had been reactionary instead of proactive, a behavioral path he didn't often travel. Well, perhaps if he did something nice for her he could persuade her to talk to him about what was bothering her. If not, at least her mood might improve for a little while. "How would you kids like to visit your mommies at work?" he asked. "We could get lunch, do some shopping, and then pick up your moms on our way home."

"Mom wants us to stay in the house today," Val said, looking at Xellos sternly.

"I'm bored. Let's go," Lecia interjected. "I wanna go to town!"

"I thought we could surprise them," Xellos explained. "Don't you want to see your mom?"

Val's eyebrows screwed up in a frown, then he shrugged. "Okay, if you want to," he finally agreed.

Xellos nodded. "All right, kids, go get your coats and boots on. We'll leave soon."

"Okay!" Lecia shouted, immediately running off.

"Hey, wait for me!" Val called, and dashed after her.

It wasn't long before they were ready to go into town. Both children were bundled up well, and he kept a firm grip on their hands as they walked down the snowy road. They discussed where they wanted to eat when they arrived, and what stores they wanted to go into. Val wanted a yo-yo, whereas Lecia just seemed to want candy. And books. And dolls. And more puzzles. And some new shirts. Xellos stopped listening to her demands after the first few, and before they knew it they were in town.

They had lunch at a place that served exceptional noodle dishes, then spent the next few hours shopping. Xellos sold off some of the talismans he had made for quite a nice price, and the children were well-behaved in every single store. He bought both Val and Lecia several goodies, bribing them not to whine as he shopped for a gift for Lina. They were in a curio shop when he found the perfect present for her. It was a little box, made out of tortoiseshell and gold. The box was only about the size of his palm, and had one compartment. Well, to the untrained eye it only had one compartment. After a few moments of exploration he found that there was actually a false bottom to the thing that functioned much like a miniature drawer. Inside was a slip of paper, dated and signed by a rather famous magician. Apparently the false bottom was actually the gateway to a miniature pocket dimension, one that hadn't been explored for quite some time. The box also had a few interesting spells on it, and Xellos purchased it, proud of his decision and certain that Lina would love it.

They three of them trudged through the snow towards Filia's shop as evening approached, the children groggy with the overconsumption of sugar. They had already gone through their hyperactive stages and were crashing hard. It was all Xellos could do to keep them upright. "Come on," he urged. "Mommies are done with work in only about half an hour."

His constant poking and prodding of the children paid off, and before long they reached Filia's mace and vase shop. Xellos, as was his habit, entered by the back door, making sure the children were occupied and comfortable in the back storeroom before moving to the entrance to the store itself. The counter was in sight, Lina leaning against it with Gorran cradled in an arm as she spoke to one of the customers. Not wanting to interrupt her conversation, he stopped in the door and waited. He soon wished he hadn't.

The day had gone very well for Filia's shop. Lina, raised by merchants, was excellent help, often getting a wonderful price for the merchandise. The customers were also attracted by Gorran, staying longer than they would have usually and sometimes purchasing things they customarily wouldn't have. Filia was polishing one of her vases next to the window when an elderly woman, one of the regular customers, came in. "Hello, Misses Dort," Filia said brightly.

The old woman raised a hand in acknowledgement. "Do you have my crystal piece in yet?" she asked.

Filia shook her head, picking up the next vase in order to dust it. "Not yet, but your Krendavian porcelain came," she replied.

The old woman nodded and moved to the counter. "Hello, young lady," she said. "How's that fine lad of yours today?"

"Well, thank you," Lina replied, rummaging beneath the counter. "The Krendavian porcelain, you say?"

"The same. You know, I only ever see you with that baby," the customer said, tapping her bony fingers on the wooden counter.

"I like to have him with me in case he needs to nurse," Lina explained, placing the vase on the counter and beginning to wrap it in tissue.

"No, I mean that I never see you with anybody."

Filia felt her eyes go wide and she turned slowly, staring at the old woman. Lina's face tightened, but she obviously hadn't reached critical yet. "Oh? Is there something unusual about that?" she asked coldly.

The old woman shrugged her thin shoulders. "Well, a woman needs a man to rely upon. After all, if you don't have a man, who's going to take care of you?"

Lina frowned, placing her palm flat on the counter as she cradled Gorran with the other. "I think I can take care of myself," she said, voice abrupt but not impolite.

"Oh, women don't know what they're about. They need a good, strong man to see to things."

"Is that so," Lina said, and Filia felt her chest tighten. Lina had been in an awful mood ever since Gorran's birth, and although Filia didn't know the cause of it, she didn't think she needed to. Lina was exceedingly volatile at best, and the old woman seemed to actually be provoking her. Besides, if there was one thing Lina was passionate about, it was her independence. To imply that she should be shackled to a man for protection was the worst possible thing a person could say to the young sorceress.

The old woman smiled. "And you're so pretty, too. How come I never see you with the father?"

Filia rolled her eyes, then saw a movement past Lina's shoulders. Xellos moved in the shadows of the doorway, pausing as he saw Lina engaged in conversation. She didn't think it possible, but her insides constricted even more. The entire situation had the aura of a powder keg set in a sea of burning oil, ready to go off at any moment, and she didn't like it one bit.

Lina snorted and raised her chin in the air. "Oh, he's probably out there somewhere," Lina said haughtily. "He was just some fling I had on the road. He didn't mean anything to me, and it wasn't until later that I found out I was pregnant. I really didn't see any point in going back to him. He was pretty worthless and I never really cared about him. I thought it would be better just to raise my son without him."

Filia felt the blood drain from her face as she gazed across the room at Xellos, her hands frozen in midmotion. His handsome face tightened for a moment, skin pale, and then she saw something crack in the amethyst depths of his eyes. His pain was so tangible she could feel it across the room and the vase she was polishing slipped from her numb fingers, shattering on the floor. Her voice stuck in her throat as he scowled, eyes like deep, dark, wounded pits in his face, and turned, walking briskly away from the door. "Wait!" Filia called, hand outstretched as she leapt over the wreckage of the vase.

Lina turned and went pale as well as she spied Xellos' retreating back. "What?" she asked Filia as the dragon bolted past her.

"Why did you say that?" Filia snapped. "Why?"

Lina blinked, and Filia was gone.

She caught up to Xellos in the storeroom, where he was bundling Lecia and Val up in their outerwear. "Xellos," she called, but he didn't turn to look at her.

"Come, children," he said briskly. "We're going home."

Lecia reached up and tugged at his sleeve. "But, Mommy-"

"She's busy," Xellos replied, voice breaking. "We're leaving, now."

Filia exhaled her panic and rushed to him, grabbing his arm and forcing him to face her as the children helped one another with their clothing. She could feel his muscles bulge and tighten beneath his clothing as he tried to release himself from her grip, but she refused to let go, even if she was taken aback a bit by his strength. Xellos had never seemed to be physically strong, but she suddenly had no doubts that his body was far more powerful than she had given him credit for. Sometimes wiry strength was the hardest to deal with.

The expression on his face frightened her even more. His eyes, which were so often closed in amusement, jest, or patience were boring into her. She thought as if she would be devoured whole, body, soul, and all, into their smoldering amethyst depths. Emotions swirled in his darkly-burning eyes, his straight, refined eyebrows plunging in a wounded frown. "She didn't mean it," Filia pleaded, pressing herself against him and lowering her weight in an attempt to keep him from leaving. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stand the raw look of betrayal on his face, the way his sculpted mouth was twisted with pain. His refined nostrils were flared as he glared down at her, and past the anger and indignance she saw that Lina's words had drawn blood, human heart's blood.

"Let go, Filia," he said coldly, the flat, toneless quality of his voice belying the agonized storm in his gaze.

"You know how Miss Lina is, Xellos," she begged, wrapping her fingers even more tightly around his taut bicep. She had to look up into his face to speak to him, and he had to bow his head to look at her. Their faces were so close that his thick, glossy hair came down in a curtain around them, strands of silver gleaming amongst the dark tresses and brushing gently against her face. She could feel his breath upon her cheek, as forced and controlled as it was gentle and sweet, and suddenly she didn't know why she cared so. He had been a Monster, the slaughterer of her people, and yet at the moment she wanted nothing more than to ease away the pain she saw reflected in his bottomless eyes and the clean lines of his thin body.

"I know precisely how she is, which is why I'm taking the children home this instant," he said between clenched teeth, normally-placid eyes blazing with hurt as he tore his arm away from her. "Val, Lecia, come along," he snapped, turning with a snap of his cloak, and dragged the little ones out into the snow.

Filia dashed to the door after him, her voice catching in her throat. She didn't know what to do or say, but her heart ached within her. There was nothing she could do but watch as he hurried away through the driving snow, his long legs devouring the distance between his body and his home, the children nearly being dragged off their feet after him. His lengthy stride took him quickly out of her sight, his black cloak fading from her view as it was replaced by horses pulling carts and the approach of night. Feeling as if she'd been kicked in the stomach, she leaned her head against the door frame, blue eyes staring sightlessly into the wintry twilight. She stayed there for a few moments more, gazing after him and choking down the sick nausea that rose within her, then realized she was shaking uncontrollably. Filia had always been extremely oversensitive to the feelings of others, and the shattering pain that had radiated from Xellos had almost brought her to her knees. If their situations had been reversed, and she was the one being so callously disregarded, she knew she wouldn't have had the strength to walk, let alone take the children home.

She didn't know if she was shivering from the cold or the memory of Xellos' suffering as she closed the back door to her shop, taking deep heaving breaths as she rested against the carved wood. Her chest ached and her eyes burned, and she wanted to cry. No one should be hurt like that, no one. A noise caught her attention and she looked up to see Lina standing at the entrance to the main part of the store, Gorran still cradled in her arms. Lina was scowling, but there was no heat in her gaze. The skin of her face seemed slightly ashen, but the tilt of her chin and the set of her mouth exhibited only defiance. "Why?" Filia rasped, feeling her empathy for Xellos ignite into something else. "Why did you say those things?"

Lina shrugged, the gesture implying that what had just transpired was of no importance. "I'm no man's possession. I don't need anyone to take care of me, let alone that damn fruitcake Monster."

Something popped in the back of Filia's skull and she stared at Lina with disbelief. She searched the sorceress' petite features for any sign of remorse and found none. "Monster?" Filia whispered. "Can't you see that he is no longer one of them? That he has a heart now, a human heart that can be cut just as easily as ours?"

Lina snorted and jostled her baby a bit, readjusting him against her shoulder. "You're not human, either."

"Apparently I'm more human than you are, because I have feelings!" Filia shouted, her small supply of patience already exhausted. "That man feels things Lina, just like you do. That man fathered both of your children, cared for you when you were ill, has cooked and cleaned and for all intents and purposes been your slave for years on end."

"So? He wasn't always human."

"And as such he has no idea what most of his emotions even are! He's lived a long time, but only what, two years, as a human? He probably doesn't even understand what he's feeling half the time, but that doesn't make it any less intense, especially when all his emotions are centered around just one person."

Lina shrugged, tossing her shimmering, coppery hair over a slender shoulder. "That's his problem, not mine."

Filia felt a volcanic rage overtake her and she clenched her fists at her sides. "What is your problem, Lina? Why aren't you satisfied with Xellos? What do you hold against him?"

Lina's expression darkened and a snarl seized her face, her full lips pulled back from perfect, white little teeth. "I hold everything against him," she growled. "He's the reason I have two children I don't want, lost the only man I've ever loved, had to give up the life that I knew and cared about! I had to compromise everything because of him, and I hate him for it. Every time I look into the faces of our children I'm reminded how I never wanted to have kids at all, or if I did, they should have been Gourry's. I should have been with Gourry, not Xellos."

Filia shook her head, her cornsilk hair flying every which way. "There is no should, Lina!" she cried. "You are with Xellos, you have had children with him, and you are building a life with him. He cares about you more than anything and wants to make himself a part of you, yet you thwart him at every turn!"

"I don't need him to make a life," Lina spat. "I'm me and I can make it just fine on my own."

Filia felt her rage begin to melt away and was left with an awful coldness. Here this tiny slip of a woman had been handed everything she herself had ever wished for, and yet she appreciated none of it. "Of course you don't need him, Miss Lina," Filia said icily. "I don't need anyone, either. I run my shop, clean my house, cook my meals, and care for my son, and I do it all alone. I dare say I even do it well. My house is tidy, my cooking is edible, my shop is prosperous, and my son is loving and happy. I have no one to thank for that but myself. I can do it alone, but I don't want to. I, however, don't have the choice. There is no man giving up his soul for me time and time again, there is no warm body for me to touch in the darkness. No man has shared my bed and given me children, nor loved those children fiercely after they were born. I have no one to help me with the chores, or even do them for me, or hold me when I'm feeling not quite as strong as usual. I shoulder all my burdens alone, and I do not have a choice."

Lina sniffed and tossed her head. "Then go find a man, if you need one so desperately. Lina Inverse does not."

"It's not about need!" Filia shouted, stamping her foot. "It's about sharing! Xellos will never try to own you; he's smarter than that. He wants to share himself with you, yet you'll have nothing to do with it. Besides, if I were to find a man, how could he possibly measure up to yours? Xellos is handsome and strong, with a perfect body. He has beautiful hair and mysterious eyes. Any woman in this village would be proud to be seen with him. But that's not all. He's scholarly and clever, more intelligent than most of the people on this planet, I'd say, and there's precious little he doesn't know. He has centuries of history locked away in that brain of his, and yet he isn't arrogant. If it's power you're after, you're never going to find someone more powerful than he. With a wave of his hand kingdoms would fall and he'd steal your soul and bind it before you could even bat an eyelash. But that's not all. He's a grand man, but he's a partner as well. He adores his children, doting on them every second he breathes. He cleans the house, does the laundry, cooks the meals, and even brings in money. Then, when you come home and complain, he's the one that rubs your feet and welcomes you into his arms. He does it all without asking anything in return and taking whatever you dish out. He doesn't even expect anything from you, just lives from day to day, hoping that someday you'll care about him like he cares about you. How many women do you know have men who think they're goddesses?"

"If you like him so much, you take him," Lina said sharply, her scowl deepening.

"I would, if he wasn't so hopelessly attached to a fool like you!" Filia retorted, voice full of knives. "I would die to have him in my house, in my bed, in my heart. But I can't, because he's given himself to you, and you don't even want him! How I wish he was Val's father!"

Lina's eyes were burning now, her cheeks flushed. "Do YOU love him?"

Filia's large, blue eyes went wide with shock. "As a human man... I think I could. I think I would if you weren't in my way. Every day I wonder why he's with you. I wonder why he's with an arrogant, selfish, stupid bitch who abuses him daily and has the figure of a beanpole!"

Filia watched as Lina snapped, the floodgates of anger breaking open so violently that it was almost audible. "The figure of a WHAT?" Lina roared. "How DARE you speak to me like that! You couldn't stand Xellos when he was a Monster, and yet the second he shows up as a human, the moment you know he's mine, then you want him. And what do you mean he shouldn't be with a woman like me? I'm the best he could ever hope for! I'm smart, beautiful, and powerful beyond belief!"

"And yet you don't see the same things in him!" Filia cried, eyes filling with tears. She was jealous, so jealous, and Lina didn't even know what it was she had. "He's much more of a match for you than Gourry, god bless his soul. Gourry's a sweet, kind, gentle, wonderful man, but he doesn't have a thought in his head! He's probably moved far beyond you now, Lina. Let him go and embrace the man you have!"

"He's not my man!" Lina screamed. "He's the reason that everything in my life was destroyed. If I never seen him again then it's too soon!"

Filia burst out into tears, unable to hold back any longer. "You can close up the damn shop by yourself," she sobbed, and grabbed her cloak off of the peg by the door before racing off into the snow and darkness.

Lecia was crying by the time they got home, but he couldn't find it in his heart to feel sorry for her. He knelt just inside the door and stripped the two children of their clothing, laying it out to dry by the fire he had started with a though. "Stop crying, Lecia," he commanded, voice firm and fingers not particularly gentle as he took off her boots.

Lecia, however, just began to cry harder. Val stood nearby, looking very uncomfortable. "Go draw a bath," he ordered the boy, who immediately scampered off.

"You don't care about me," Lecia bawled, face red as tears streamed down her windburned cheeks.

"Nonsense," Xellos said, picking her up and settling her on his hip as he moved to the kitchen. He started the fire in the oven and began to move pots and pans around.

"You don't care that I'm cold and tired!" she wailed, leaning against his shoulder and sobbing.

"I do too," he mumbled, scowling as he focused on setting the stove's flames just right.

"No you don't! You pulled me all the way home! My arm hurts!"

"We had to get home quickly," he snapped. "It was snowing harder and getting dark."

"But what about Mommy? How will she and Gorran get home?"

Xellos felt something in his chest tighten at the mention of the other two members of his family. He loved Gorran, Lord Ruby-eye help him, but he wasn't so sure about Lina. All the pain washed over him anew as he remembered her words. She didn't need him, eh? Well, that was something he needed to talk to her about. They had been doing their strange emotional dance long enough. It was time to find out where he stood, and if it was worth his time. "They'll walk, just like we did," he replied.

Lecia sniffled. "Gorran and Mommy are going to freeze to death," she moaned.

Xellos felt concern rip through his body at the thought, then consciously forced it away. Why should he care if Lina died? He did, though, he did. Just the thought of her in pain killed him as well, and he couldn't even stand to think about anything happening to his son. "They won't," he murmured, trying to keep his own tears out of his eyes. "Mommy will take care of him." Of course Lina would take care of the son she wished was Gourry's. Lina had never had much use for Lecia. Lecia, of course, didn't look like Lina. At least Lina could pretend Gorran was Gourry's when the child had his eyes closed, since the baby resembled her so much. Perhaps that's why the boy's and the swordsman's names were so similar.

"You don't love me," Lecia whimpered, slumping against him and crying even harder.

Xellos couldn't take it anymore and abandoned the stove completely, sitting down in a chair and making her face him in his lap. "Now you listen here," he said firmly, looking straight into her eyes, eyes that were duplicates of his own. "No matter what happens, I will always love you with all my heart."

"No," Lecia sobbed.

"I do, I love you, my darling Lecia, my heart's heart. You mean more to me than just about anything on this planet. Do you understand?"

Lecia hiccupped and continued to cry. "You're my precious little girl, and I would give up my life and soul to keep you happy and safe."

"I don't want you to go anywhere, Daddy," Lecia wailed.

Xellos pulled her close to him and buried his nose in her silky hair. "I won't ever leave you, I promise," he said, voice thick with emotion. Perhaps Lina wouldn't let him care about her, but his little girl would do better than that. She would let him love her. "Do you believe me?"

Lecia nodded in his embrace, her small fists curled in the fabric of his shirt. "Yes, Daddy," she mumbled.

Val appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes wide and cautious. "Is she okay?" he asked Xellos.

Xellos nodded, still keeping Lecia pressed to his body. "She's just cold and hungry," he explained. "How about you? How are you faring?"

Val shrugged and pulled out a chair, sliding his slight frame into it. "I'm okay," he said. "I'm hungry, too."

"How are you doing, little one?" Xellos asked Lecia gently, noticing how difficult it was becoming to get out of the chair while holding her. She was growing far too quickly for his liking. He couldn't believe she was so big already. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she murmured, rubbing the back of her hand across her eyes and sniffling.

"Promise?"

"Promise," she replied, burying her face in his shoulder.

He found suddenly that he didn't want to put her down. She was all he had, really. He wasn't a Monster anymore, but this little girl was all that made him human. Lecia was the only thing that made him belong. He had hoped it would be Lina, but...

"Do you need help?" Val asked, watching with a raised eyebrow as Xellos tried to begin cooking and hold Lecia at the same time.

Xellos smiled. "Your mother raised you very well. Tell her I said that," he replied.

"What can I do?"

"Could you fetch the dried tomatoes and chives, please?" he asked, and focused his energies on cooking. Perhaps he had heard Lina incorrectly, or she had meant something other than what she said. At any rate, it wouldn't do any good to fret about it. He would speak with her when the children had gone to bed. Nothing was wrong, he told himself, and everything would be fine. Xellos, after all, was a master of deception, even if it was to himself.

He had the children bathed and dinner prepared by the time the women got home. Filia threw him a glance as she walked in the door, her face pink with cold and cheeks streaked with tears. He offered to take her cloak and she let it slide to the floor, suddenly throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. Her skin was cold, and he wondered if she had been walking around for a while. He was taken aback by her embrace, but he didn't know what to do. Gently he moved her closer to the fire and put his arms around her, not knowing what other course of action was open to him. Not that he particularly cared what was the matter with her, since she wasn't his family, but he didn't know how to get out of the situation politely. Filia, however, just clung to him harder and wept, the sobs wracking her entire body. Sighing, he began stroking her golden, silky hair and was still doing so when Lina walked through the door.

His insides twisted as he saw her, her perfect round cheeks kissed with cold. He wanted nothing more than to push Filia away and run to Lina, to wrap his arms about her and their baby. Searing pain raced through his chest as he felt his heart constrict inside of him, and then he met her eyes. Her ruby-colored eyes were flat and as cold as the winter outside. Something inside of him deflated as he saw her look at him that way. It was as if he was some sort of insect; no, it was worse than that, as if he was a shadow or didn't exist at all. What had he done to make her act so?

Lina's eyes narrowed and she shot a dirty look at Filia, her gaze almost an assault as he directed it at the dragon's back. Xellos shuddered involuntarily and his arms tightened reflexively around the blonde woman. Lina tore her eyes away and began to remove her clothing. "Val's still in the bath, if you'd like to see to him," Xellos said to Filia softly.

Filia nodded and released him, stumbling out of the room. Xellos sighed and went over to Lina, gently taking the bundled baby out of her arms. Gorran was wrapped in so much cloth that he had to peel away several layers just to see the child's face, and then he found himself looking into another pair of his own eyes. "Hello, love," he whispered to the child. He didn't care if the boy practically shared another man's name. Gorran was his son and he loved him. The baby just blinked up at him, but Xellos thought he saw a flicker of recognition. Maybe this child would let Xellos love him as well. That in mind, Xellos cradled the baby tenderly and kissed him on the forehead, closing his eyes as he felt the smooth, flawless baby-skin against his lips. Sighing, he began to unwrap the baby, glancing at Lina as he did so. He was almost angry at her for looking so beautiful as she took off her snow boots. How dare she be so alluring after she had wounded him so? How dare she make him want her when all she would ever do was drive him away? "Lina," he began, voice soft and as soothing as he could make it.

"Did you cook?" Lina said sharply, fixing a blazing eye on him.

He nodded.

"Good," she added tersely, then moved off into the kitchen.

Xellos choked down his anger and despair. No, he had to focus on his son. His son needed his love and care more than Lina did. He finished unwrapping the child and changed him into some soft, warm clothing, then sat with him next to the fire. "Do you remember me singing to you when you were still in Mommy's womb?" he asked.

The baby uttered a tiny sigh, grabbing at Xellos' long finger with a fist. Xellos smiled and leaned over, nuzzling the boy's mop of red hair. He tenderly stroked the baby's fingers with his thumb, gazing with wonder down at the infant. Gorran stirred a bit, apparently settling into his father's arm, and Xellos felt peace wash over him, wiping away the torment Lina put him through. Feeling content, Xellos took a breath and quietly sang his child to sleep.

Lina managed to stay as far away from him as possible until bedtime, and even then he wasn't sure she'd talk to him. When she entered their bedroom and went to the bureau, fishing through the drawers for her pajamas, he deftly stepped behind her and shut the door. She gathered her clothes up in her arms and turned quickly, gasping and leaping back as she almost collided with his chest. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked sharply, face falling into her habitual frown.

He looked at her levelly, searching her face. "We need to talk, Lina," he said, pushing away the anxiety he felt. He was afraid to talk to her, he realized. He was afraid of what she might tell him.

"About what?" she snapped, trying to move past him, but he blocked her.

"A lot of things," he replied. "About today."

"What about it?"

"In the store," he began, almost losing his nerve. "At Filia's shop, you said... You said that you didn't care about the father of your children."

"And?"

Xellos took a deep breath, hoping in vain that her reply wouldn't kill his heart. "Is it true? Do you really hold me in such low regard?"

"How am I supposed to feel about you?" she growled. "You're the reason my life has turned out so badly."

He blinked at her. "Badly? But-"

"Shut up," Lina said sharply. "Because of you I have two kids I don't want and I'm tied down in this shitty little town. I never wanted you, I never wanted our kids, and I never wanted this life. All I ever wanted was to travel and to be happy with Gourry."

"Is that why you nearly named our son after him?"

"He shouldn't have been our son. If I should have had children with anyone, it should have been Gourry Gabriev."

He had always known she had felt that way, but to hear her words struck him to the very core. "Then why, Lina? Why did you sleep with me time after time? Why do you still stay here and torment me?"

"Who's tormenting who?" she retorted. "I'm stuck in hell, but no, you have your happy little family. Why don't you just ditch me and marry Filia? She'd love to have a family with you!"

Xellos scowled. "Filia? What does she have to do with anything?"

"Catch a clue," Lina said, voice disgusted. "She's crazy about you. I see all the little touches she gives you, how you hold her."

Xellos' eyes flew wide. "She doesn't mean anything to me!" he protested. "She's a dragon!"

Lina snorted, turning her back on him. "I should have known a heartless bastard like you would say that."

He was so stunned that he couldn't even reply, only stood and blinked. "What?"

"Sure. Ditch the mother of your children for the ripe virgin," Lina growled, fiddling with her clothing.

"WHAT?" Xellos cried. "What does that have to do with anything! I don't want Filia, I want you! You're the one that I care about, but you won't have me!"

"If you cared about me then why did you rip me away from the man I loved?"

Xellos felt his voice die in his throat. He was a fool, a damn fool. Becoming human had blinded him and made him weak. Lina would never think of anything but how she was forced to leave Gourry. "I never once forced you to sleep with me. If you didn't want me, why did you make love to me?"

"There's a difference between sex and making love," Lina replied coldly. "I've never made love to you. Physical need does not mean love."

Xellos felt his heart shatter anew. He was just a tool for her, then. She would use him and use him, never giving a single thing back. "I don't mean anything to you?" he whispered.

"No," she grated.

"But what about the times we were happy? What about how you feel about our children?" he protested, so many emotions ripping through his chest at once that he thought he'd fly to pieces.

"I was only happy when you distracted me long enough from reality. As for the kids, I guess I love them, because they're mine."

"I'm yours!" he said, voice breaking.

"And I don't want you."

"Why?" he asked. "To what end have I waited on you hand and foot? Why have I taken such good care of you and our children?"

"Because you're a fool, Xellos," Lina said, lip curling. "At least you weren't this stupid when you were a Monster."

Xellos felt his pain crystallize within him and a hardness took over his entire body. "I am not a fool, Lina," he replied softly. "The fool is you, to pawn off all your blame on me."

"What?" she hissed.

"You helped in the conception of those children, and if you had taken Lecia with you from the very start none of this would have happened. Better yet, you should have never left Gourry in the first place. He'd be able to do better with a stupid, selfish woman like yourself."

"How dare you call me stupid!" she shouted, eyes crackling with rage.

"Because you are," he replied. "You're small-minded and greedy. You can't take responsibility for anything. Worst of all, you do it with a heart. I had an excuse to be cruel and heartless when I was a Monster. What's your excuse, Miss Inverse?"

"Shut up!"

He smiled coldly, the awful realization that Lina truly didn't care and would never change washing over him. "Why? Because you can't stand the truth? I might not have always told you everything, but I have never lied to you."

"Shut up, you bastard!" she screamed, taking a swing at him.

He normally would have let it hit him and tried to distract her until her wrath was gone. That was how he had lived as a Monster and as a human, thus far. However, he would be a human for the rest of his life, and now he felt human pain. He would no longer be her punching bag. His hand came up and easily caught her wrist, stopping her blow cold. He gripped her firmly but not enough to bruise her. "You will not strike me," he said softly. "I am your equal, Lina Inverse, and I will be treated as such."

"No one's my equal," she snarled, trying to pry her wrist from his grasp.

"I am," he said. "I'm stronger, faster, and smarter than you are. You will never win in a war with me."

"Says who?"

"Me. I've lived thousands of years. Your mortal knowledge and power can't hope to measure up to me."

Anger crackled in her eyes, her hair wild as she struggled. "Let me go."

"Gourry was even less your equal. He had no brains to speak of. Dumb as a rock. Why do you love him, Lina? Why love a man who can never fulfill your wishes?"

"Because he has a heart," she hissed, nose wrinkling as her lips parted in a snarl.

He looked at her sadly, releasing her wrist. "I do, too, Lina," he whispered. It was over. She would never let go of Gourry. She would never love him. The very thing he had longed for so much when he was a Monster and had tried so hard to obtain when he was human was forever out of his grasp. He was nothing to Lina Inverse.

Lina retreated a few paces, glaring at him. Her entire body was a study in tension an wrath, and he wondered momentarily if she would try to blast him with a spell. "I don't care about your heart," she said angrily.

"I know that now," he agreed, bowing his head. What was this pain inside of him? What was this incredible sense of hollowness and loss?

"Good."

He sighed, fighting off the despair that threatened to send him to the floor. The feeling was every bit as awful as the death and depression he had felt upon the first time he became human. Actually, it was worse. This time he wasn't allowed to just let go. He had children to care for, children he loved. No matter what happened, he wouldn't abandon them. "Very well, then," he muttered. "I'll give you what you wish."

Lina narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "And that would be?"

He didn't reply, just reached up and unfastened the ring from around his neck. He would no longer endure her abuse. Slowly lifting the ring from inside his shirt, he curled it into his fist. He stood there for long moments, memorizing the curves of her face and body, the way the firelight played off of her molten lava tresses and flickering eyes. Reaching out, he took her hand in his and gently dropped his ring into her palm. "I'll leave every night after the children are asleep and arrive every morning before they're awake. They need not know the difference."

Lina stared down at her palm, the amurium and orihalcon shining faintly. Her face was oddly slack, as if it was numb and she no longer had control of it. She lifted her eyes to his and stared, and he could not tell if she had been struck dumb with relief, surprise, or sadness.

"Now you're free," he murmured, moving to the exit. The tears were building inside of him and he swallowed roughly to rid himself of the lump in his throat. He couldn't break in front of her. "Goodbye, dearest Lina," he choked, and closed the bedroom door behind him.

Pain was all he felt as he struggled through the snow toward town. The storm had picked up quite a bit, blinding him, and it was only the extra senses he possessed that let him find town at all. He would have wept, but the tears froze on his eyelashes before they had a chance to fall. Pushing his way through the snow with the help of his staff, he finally made it into the village, searching out an inn. He entered and shook the snow off of his shoulders, ignoring the stares of the inn's patrons. So what if he was cold and tired? So what if he felt as if someone had plunged their hand into his body and pulled out all his organs? "Room, please," he rasped to the innkeep.

"You walk through that storm?" the burly man asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, and I'm very tired. May I have a room?"

"Sure," the innkeeper mumbled, reaching down for the papers and the key. "You want a bath drawn? Food?"

Xellos nearly retched at the thought of food. He knew his roiling stomach wouldn't keep a single thing down. "Not right now," he said. His eyes followed the innkeeper's hand as he drew up the papers. "Oh, and I'll probably be staying for a while," he added.

The man nodded and made a few notes. "Quarrel with the lover, eh?" the large man mumbled.

Xellos felt his stomach lurch and he shook his head, the melting snow flying from the ends of his hair and landing on the counter. "I just found out there never was a real lover," he muttered to himself.

"What's that?" the innkeeper asked, but Xellos had already signed the papers and taken the key.

"Thank you," he replied, and trudged up the stairs to his room.

He opened the door and walked inside, setting his staff and leather bag against the wall. The room was small and tidy, with a good-sized fireplace in the center of the wall. The quarters were actually cozy, and he felt a bit of relief. How long had it been since he was alone? Since he had some quiet time to himself, without Lina demanding something or Lecia pestering him? Longer than he could remember, to be honest. Well, wouldn't it be nice to have some solitude. Sighing, he kicked off his boots and sat on the bed heavily. Only his meager pile of belongings made the room seemed lived-in, and even then just barely. So this was where he would be spending the rest of his nights, he realized, and felt as if someone had just settled a shirt made of lead on his shoulders. There would be no more nights cuddled up on the same pillow, listening to Lina breathe as she went to sleep. There would be no more fingers dancing along his bare chest when he came out of the bath at night. He would never again feel the sweetness of Lina's lips pressed against his. There would be no more of any of that, all because Lina didn't care about him.

The odd, stabbing pain in his chest and abdomen acted up again, and even as he shut his eyes in agony he wondered what it meant. It wasn't a physical ailment, but his body was definitely reacting to something. Was it his emotions? As he looked down at the floor between his knees he realized there were wet spots on the fabric of his pants. He moved his hand to wipe them away when another droplet of moisture landed on the skin of his knuckles. Staring, he watched as another fell, then another. With a start he realized they were coming from him. He was crying. His chest heaved with a sob, his lungs burning as badly as his eyes, and he put his head in his hands. So this was what it meant to have a human heart and feel. Hurt and despair gripped his body and he curled himself around it, losing himself in the torrent of feelings. It wasn't fair, he thought. It just wasn't fair. It wasn't until he had lost her that he realized that he loved her.

Lina stared at the closed door for quite some time, then glanced down at the heavy ring in the palm of her hand. The amurium had an incredible weight to it suddenly, almost dragging her entire arm downward. She blinked at it dumbly for several more moments, brain not wanting to wrap itself around the significance of what she held. Was this really happening? Had Xellos honestly just left her?

She angrily shook her head, clearing her her thoughts. Good riddance. After all, he was annoying, always hovering.... As she thought of him, his image sprang to mind, of the raw hurt in his eyes as he spoke to her. Xellos, with a heart? Well, of course he felt things, everybody felt things, but he probably couldn't feel them very strongly, right? Besides, how dare he say those sort of things to her? It was almost as bad as that time in the woods, when they had fought, and then she had slid her hand along the tight muscles of his stomach...

Reality caught up with her in a rush, but she testily pushed it aside again. He'd be back, he always came back. He even came back when she didn't want him to. She'd see him in the morning, at any rate. He said he would, and human Xellos was pretty good at keeping his word.

Sighing, she put his ring on her bedside table, disrobing and leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor. He'd be around shortly to pick them up anyway.... She paused, looking around at the room. No, he wouldn't. He was gone, just like she always wanted. That'd show him. She'd be just fine without him. He didn't own her, no one did. If she wanted her clothes to stay on the floor then that's where they'd stay. Growling to herself, she struggled into her pajamas, trying to master her anger as she did so. As she buttoned up her shirt she noticed the snow outside was falling quickly and there was much more of it. Where had Xellos gone this time of night, anyway, especially in a storm? A moment's concern flickered at the edges of her awareness, but she ignored it. Ignoring things was getting really, really easy for her. What did she care if he froze to death in the storm?

Her thoughts didn't have the conviction to keep her from shutting the drapes anyway. The cold and snow were awful, in her opinion, and just one more reason to hate Xellos for dragging her here. She should have never left Gourry, that was that. Oh well, at least Xellos would still be by to take care of the kids.

She slipped into bed and blew out the candle, snuggling under the covers. The sheets were cold and she groaned, inching over to find a warm spot, but there was no such spot to be had with Xellos absent. That was okay, she'd make her own. She let loose a long sigh, pushing away her indignation and her anger, when crying came from the corner of the room. Dammit, did that baby never sleep at night? Groaning, she rolled over and pulled the pillow down over her ears, but the wailing continued. Shoot, Xellos was the one that always got up with the child at night. Now she'd have to do it. Sliding from bed, she padded across to the crib and picked up Gorran, bouncing him as she took him over to the changing table. She cleaned him and pinned a new diaper on him. It wasn't as good as Xellos' had been, but it was good enough. The baby quieted a bit and stared up at his mother, amethyst eyes blinking. His eyes were exactly like Xellos', and suddenly she couldn't bear to look at them. This boy should have been Gourry's, just like Lecia should have been Gourry's. If she was going to have kids on accident, at least. She loved her kids, she really did, and she had even gotten used to the idea that she had a family with Xellos. Lecia was actually lots of fun, and she was almost happy. Then Gorran had come along, and he looked so much like her that it was as if he wasn't Xellos' son at all. In fact, when the child had been born, his eyes were a bluish color, and it was as if he really was Gourry's son.

That's when things started to go downhill. All her past frustrations, pains, and angers came flooding back to her, and she resented Xellos for not being Gourry. She resented their life, since it meant that Gourry wasn't Gorran's father. Now, however, the boy had his father's bottomless amethyst eyes, and she was reminded every day of how her life had shaped up.

The fact that Filia was smitten with Xellos hadn't helped, either. Lina was finding the dragon woman increasingly annoying and a rather self-righteous mother. Her hovering was damn near unbearable, and she thought the woman was smothering Val. Did Filia want her kid to grow up to be a sissy or what? Heck, Lecia was three years younger and human, and she could have kicked Val's ass all over town. Then there was the way Filia would carry on about Xellos. Oh, he's so wonderful at this, or it's so nice of him to think of doing that. Blah blah blah. It just reminded her of all the things that Xellos did that would have never occurred to Gourry, and that bothered her. She didn't like her precious memories of a perfect Gourry being tarnished.

Looking down, she realized that Gorran had fallen asleep. Yes, just one more thing she didn't need Xellos for. She put the child back in his crib and crawled into to bed, sliding under the cold covers. Tossing and turning, it took her quite some time to get to sleep, and the last thought she had before she dropped off was that she would, come hell or high water, get used to sleeping alone once more.

The next morning she rolled over with a groan and groped at the empty side of the bed, reaching for the smooth skin and tight muscle she normally found there. Her hand closed on cool sheets and she sat up, blinking in the light filtering through the curtains. What was going on? Where was Xellos?

It all came back to her in a rush, the wounded, roiling depths of his eyes, the cold, tight set of his mouth. . . . It was all there, in the back of her mind, and her anger rose with it once more. She seized her anger and gripped it tightly, depending on its heat. That's right, she was angry at him for ruining her life, just like always. She couldn't believe that she had nearly forgotten that he was to blame for all the awful things that had happened to her. Lecia's love and their strange domesticity had fooled her somewhat, but with Gorran's birth everything was as fresh and new as the day Xellos had first brought her to Wolfpack island. She didn't have the sadness that claimed her so many years ago, but the anger was still there. The odd thing was, she was definitely angry at Xellos, but there was something else there, too; an odd frustration and fear was lodged in her heart. That fear just made her even angrier at Xellos, for although she couldn't pinpoint it, she knew it was her fault.

"I don't need him," she growled to herself, pulling on a robe and slippers. Going over to Gorran's crib, she found it empty. Where was the baby?

Slightly worried, she went to the door of the room and opened it, stepping out into the hallway. Voices came to her from the living room, the voices of children. "But my mom won't let me cast spells," she heard Val say.

"I'm not supposed to when my parents aren't around," Lecia answered, the two young ones coming into view as Lina stepped into the room. They were sitting on the large rug in the center of the living room, cards with bright patterns on them spread before the children. "But Mommy and Daddy both teach me spells."

"Like what?"

Lina didn't have to be able to see Lecia's face to know that she was grinning just like her father. "Like this," Lecia said, leaning forward and touching her index finger between Val's aqua brows. "Sleep."

Val scowled and began to protest, then his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor. "Lecia!" Lina said, hurrying into the room, holding her robe closed. She knelt next to the slumbering boy and pulled him into her lap, quickly disenchanting him. "Don't do that sort of thing!"

Lecia stuck out her lower lip. "Why not?"

"Because there was no reason to! You weren't threatened, and he's not an insomniac!"

"But I wanted to show him."

"Besides, even such a simple spell as Sleep can be dangerous. What if you had done something wrong, and he stayed asleep forever? What then?"

Lecia's face twisted and her chin quivered a bit. "I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I don't want Val to sleep forever."

"What happened?" Val groaned, holding his head and sitting up in Lina's arms. "Hi, Aunt Lina."

"Hi, Val," Lina replied. "Lecia just cast a sleep spell on you."

Val turned his wide, golden eyes on the little girl. "Really?"

"Yeah," Lecia mumbled, looking at the floor.

Val's face split in a grin. "Neat!" he exclaimed, sliding out of Lina's lap. "How did you do it?"

Lecia smiled as well and began to gesture, trying to explain the spell. "And then Daddy says you have to sort of pull the magic into your body and move it around in you, sorta like blood," she said.

"No," Lina growled. "You will not teach him spells. If Filia wants him to learn magic she will just have to teach him herself."

"But Mommy, he can already do laser breath."

Lina stared at Val, mouth slightly open. "What?"

Val blushed and pursed his lips, looking everywhere in the room but at her. "I got angry one day and just kinda did it," he admitted. "Now it's sorta easy."

"See?" Lecia said defiantly.

Lina scowled. "Does your mother know?"

Val's eyes went wide and he clutched at her robe. "You aren't gonna tell her, are you?" he asked breathlessly.

Lina narrowed her eyes and stared at the child. "Only if you promise never to do it again unless she's there to help you."

"Okay," he agreed, nodding vigorously.

"Same goes for you, Lecia. No magic without supervision."

"Awww, Mommy!"

"You heard me. Now promise."

Lecia studied her mother for a moment, then bowed her head. "I promise," she muttered.

Lina nodded and stood, hands on her hips. "Do you know where the baby is?"

Val pointed toward the kitchen. "Uncle Xellos has him."

Lina felt her stomach turn to lead and her anger flickered once again in her awareness. "Thanks," she mumbled.

She walked toward the kitchen as the kids went back to their cards. "Done!" Lecia declared behind her.

"Nuh-uh! Those don't match!"

Silence, then a chuckle. "They do now."

"No!" Val cried. "Aunt Lina, Lecia's using magic again!"

"Don't cheat," Lina called over her shoulder, then ignored the children's continued squabbling.

She walked into the kitchen to see both Xellos and Filia standing at the counter. Filia was leaning against it, facing the door, and Xellos stood in front of her, in profile. Gorran was wrapped in one of those strange slings Xellos liked to carry children in. He always said it made him feel more secure to have them always near his body, where he could feel their heartbeats and the passage of air through their lungs, reassuring him everything was as it should be. What a bunch of hooey.

Filia had a scowl on her face, her arms crossed beneath her breasts, and was whispering furiously to Xellos. The tall man just shook his head once or twice, his lips tightly pressed together. The dark strands of his hair, and quite a few silver ones, hung down and partially obscured his face from view as he gazed at the counter, chopping potatoes. Lina stepped into the kitchen and Filia paled, taking several steps back from Xellos but making no move to leave the room. Lina glared at her and stopped, standing to one side. She said nothing.

Xellos turned his head, his dark, unreadable eyes flickering over her for a moment before he returned his attention to the task at hand. She caught a glimpse of Gorran's fuzzy red head as Xellos moved, the child's eyes blinking myopically up at his father. Xellos' face looked dirty, and as she examined him more closely she realized he had stubble all over his face. Odd, but she hadn't even known he was capable of growing facial hair. He had hair in the places an adult should have hair, but aside from that he was relatively hairless. She'd never seen him with scruff ever. He must have always shaved it off when she wasn't paying attention.

She also noticed that his eyes looked sort of bruised, but it was hard to tell if they were all right or not, since he kept them mostly hidden in the shadows of his heavy bangs. His clothes were clean and pressed, but even though they didn't look slept in, she wondered if he had gotten any rest at all the night before. Quickly she shoved her concern away. What did she care, after all? He was the problem and deserved whatever discomfort he received.

Tearing her attention away from him, she took a seat at the table and sighed, putting her feet up on one of the chairs. She had lost all the weight she gained when she was pregnant with Gorran, and she only seemed to be hungrier because of it. "Kids, come eat!" she said as Xellos set a plate in front of her. He didn't meet her eyes once, just silently moved back to the stove.

"They ate earlier," Filia said coldly. "It's nearly noon."

Lina scowled but blushed nonetheless. "Never mind!" she shouted, but she knew the children probably hadn't been paying attention to her in the first place. She immediately scarfed down her food, then helped herself to seconds, thirds, and fourths. When she was finally full she leaned back in the chair and patted her stomach. "So, Filia, why aren't you at the shop already?"

"I was waiting for you to get up. You have the key, since you locked up last night," the dragon replied.

Lina shrugged. "Fine. I'll be ready in a minute or two."

"Fine," Filia replied, and stalked out of the room.

Lina snorted and got up from the table, stretching with a sigh. "Wonder what flew up her butt," she growled, waiting for Xellos' inevitable comment and a little disappointed when it never came. He had, instead, moved over to the sink and was washing dishes. She went over to him, wanting to place her hands on the backs of his broad shoulders, just like she used to when they lived in their little cabin. A tension in his body posture prevented her, though, and she realized that she hadn't touched him with affection since at least a month before the baby was born. Well, she certainly wouldn't start now, especially with him being such a jackass.

"Give the baby to me," she ordered. "I want to feed him before we go in to open the shop."

Xellos deftly fished the baby out of his sling and handed him to her, returning to his cleaning without a word or even a glance.

Lina narrowed her eyes and glared with him. "Be that way," she growled, going over to a chair and sitting, freeing one of her breasts from her pajamas and letting the baby grope for her nipple.

She was still nursing Gorran when Xellos finished tidying up and went into the living room, interrupting the children's play. From where she was sitting she could just see him, his hands on his narrow hips. "Please put the game away, little ones," he said gently, his voice faint as it was carried into the kitchen. "I think it's time you both began some lessons."

"I can already read, Daddy," Lecia grumbled.

"I can, too," Val said, looking up at Xellos with adoration.

Xellos chuckled softly, but Lina could hear an odd undertone in his laughter. What the hell was wrong with him? "I know you can, but that's not all there is to literacy," he said gently. "It's time you two learned how to write."

"What?" one of the children said.

"Val, please fetch some pencils and paper," Xellos continued. "Lecia, please put the game away now."

"But Daddy-"

"Now, please," Xellos urged.

Lina was tired of hearing his voice, so she tuned out the others and switched Gorran to her other breast. She couldn't believe how big the child was getting already. If the length of his hands and feet was any indication, Gorran might end up being even taller than Xellos. Still, the kid had a long way to go before they'd no for certain. No sense worrying about it now.

She finished nursing Gorran, kissed his fuzzy head, and returned him to Xellos, who took him without a word and burped him as he watched the two children trying to write the letter "a." He still wouldn't look at her, or speak to her, so she threw her nose in the air and left to get dressed. It didn't take her long to get ready, and then she accompanied Filia through the thick snow into town. There was only one set of footprints already on the road, and Lina pushed away the images of Xellos slogging away through the snow, black cloak wrapped tightly around him, alone.

Soon enough they got to town and Lina took her place behind the counter, ready to deal with customers. There were only a few, but Lina was glad for the distraction. Filia was surly and curt at best, and so Lina avoided her for the remainder of the work day. An extra key to the shop was made, and Lina left a little early, leaving Filia to close up.

It was already dark by the time she got home, the bite of a coming storm in the air. She threw open the door to the house and shed her heavy cloak, hanging it by the door, and saw all the children in Xellos' lap. Lecia was huddled close to him, under one of his arms, and Val was cuddled under the other. Gorran was still nestled next to Xellos' heart, and in the firelight they looked like some sort of idealistic painting. "And so the prince kissed the princess and made all her troubles go away," Lecia read slowly. "She put her arms around his neck and let him lift her from the ped...ped..."

"Pedestal," Xellos murmured.

"Pedestal. He put her on his horse, then climbed up after her, and they rode away into the sunset to live happily after ever."

"Very good," Xellos said softly, running his hand over Lecia's silky hair.

"Uncle Xellos," Val asked. "Does a kiss really make all the bad stuff go away?"

Xellos' head moved as if he glanced at Lina, but his eyes were too hidden in the shadows of his bangs for her to tell for certain. "It can, when done properly," he whispered, voice so low she could barely hear it. "But it can also just cause more pain. Use your kisses wisely."

"Yeah," Lecia said, looking up at her father with uncertainty.

Val sighed and leaned into Xellos. "I hope I find a princess to love someday."

"Princesses are boring," Lecia declared, shutting the book. "They never DO anything. They just sit around and wait for stuff to happen to them. That's why bad stuff always happens. It's 'cause they didn't DO anything."

"Not doing anything's better than whining all the time," Val said sharply.

Lecia ignored him. "I'm gonna be the one who rescues the princesses," she said with a nod, puffing out her thin chest. "I'm gonna be a hero, just like my mommy."

"Be careful what you wish for," Xellos murmured darkly, and Lina was doubly aggravated that she couldn't see his eyes.

Lecia could obviously see them, though, for after a glance at him she turned and saw Lina standing there. "Mommy!" she squealed, running over to her and latching onto her legs.

"Hey," Lina said, smiling at the child in spite of herself. She wanted to focus on her anger at Xellos, but Lecia was just too much for her. Leaning down, she picked the girl up in her arms and gave her a squeeze, a warm feeling spreading through her as she felt Lecia's little arms wrapping around her neck.

"Mommy," Lecia whispered in her ear, surprising her. "Is something wrong with Daddy?"

Lina started to frown, then quickly smoothed out her features, in case Xellos was watching. "I don't know. Why?"

Lecia snuggled closer to her. "He cried four times today. He said he kept stubbing his toe, but he only really stubbed his toe once, and then he didn't cry."

Xellos, crying? Whatever for? "I don't know, Lecia," Lina admitted. "You should ask him."

Lecia immediately began to try to pull away, but Lina held her tight. "Mommy!" Lecia hissed.

"Not now," Lina cautioned. "Ask him later. Tomorrow."

Lecia's little body deflated, but she agreed. "Okay."

"That's my girl," Lina murmured, giving her a squeeze and setting her down on the floor.

Lecia trotted over to the coffee table, picking up a piece of paper and running back over to her with it. "Look what I did!" she squealed, and Lina saw the paper was covered with a child's wobbly handwriting. It was the alphabet, sort of.

"Very good," Lina said, leaning down and taking up the piece of paper.

Lecia beamed. "My letters are better than Val's," she announced.

Val, who was still cuddling up to Xellos on the couch, immediately left his spot and grabbed another piece of paper, dashing to Lina and holding it up. "No they aren't!" he cried, thrusting his paper up higher. "Mine are just as good!"

"Nuh-uh!" Lecia cackled. "You can't write because you're just a dumb boy!"

"They are so! And you're just a dumb girl!"

"Hey," Lina said with a scowl. "Stop that right now. Friends don't talk to one another that way."

Xellos stood, unwrapping Gorran from around his chest as he walked over to her. "Neither do lovers," he said softly, but there was a bite to his words. "Children, time for your baths."

"Awww," Lecia moaned, stamping her foot.

"You don't wanna bathe 'cause you're a sissy," Val sneered, then whooped and began to race up the stairs.

"Am not!" Lecia cried. "I'm gonna get my towel first!"

"I'm gonna beat you!" Val chortled, his skinny legs taking the stairs two at a time.

Lecia's face contorted in a scowl. "No! You can't beat me!" she growled. "Levitation!"

Lina's eyes widened in surprise ad Lecia rocketed off the ground and shot up the stairs after the boy. Damn, but she was proud of that girl. Only five and already able to levitate herself. She must have been practicing hard. She turned her head to remark to Xellos but didn't get the opportunity. Instead he thrust their son at her and walked away. She wasn't certain, but she thought she saw the sparkle of moisture in the darkness beneath his bangs.

He bathed the children, started supper, and then bolted as soon as Filia arrived. "Are you sure you don't want to stay here?" she murmured to him as he gathered up his cloak. "You could have my room, and I could sleep on the sofa..."

"I don't want to be under the same roof as her," Xellos said sharply, voice low. "It kills me to be around her. If I didn't love my children as much as I do I wouldn't stay at all."

Filia's large blue eyes turned sad and she lowered her chin a little. "They're not the only things that you love, Xellos. You asked me once how you'd know if you were in love. Do you know now?"

Xellos took a deep breath. "I was a Monster for all but a couple years of my existence," he replied. "And as such, I learned that there is no better teacher than pain."

Her eyes began to fill with tears and she clasped her hands in front of her. "Please, if there's anything I can do..."

"Just leave me alone," he replied as gently as he could. "Let me be and focus your energies on the children instead."

"Okay," she said, voice wavering, and he snatched up his staff.

"See you tomorrow," he said, and plunged into the darkness.

About a quarter of the way back to town it began to storm again. Swearing, he pulled his cloak up around his ears and pushed on, blinking like mad just in order to keep the driving ice out of his eyes. He could barely see anything, and only the leftovers of his Monster's senses kept him on the right path to town. After all, snowstorms didn't exist on the astral plane, and it was easy enough to spot a place like a town, where many weak astral forms were gathered. Not that distance on the astral plane mattered, but it was still reassuring that he had such abilities.

He did, however, miss his ability to teleport. It would have been nice to be in his little room right now, out of the cold and snow. The storm blinded him and made him feel vulnerable, and he was feeling vulnerable enough already. His insides felt as if they had been cut to ribbons and rubbed with salt, they ached and burned so. He hadn't been able to eat anything all day and didn't imagine he could force down anything once he arrived at the inn.

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and he rapidly blinked them away. The last thing he needed was tracks of ice on his cheeks. Why did it always have to storm on his way back from Filia's? Why was the journey back the hardest physically, when it was also the most difficult emotionally? Seeing Lina had been absolute torture for him, confronted with her beauty and also with her self-absorbed cruelty. Ah, but he had enjoyed her thoughtlessness when he was a Monster. It was so much more satisfying. Why, oh why, did he have to be turned human again?

As soon as he had the thought he dismissed it from his mind. If he was still a Monster he wouldn't be flooded with peace and warmth every time he saw his children. He loved them fiercely, even the little boy with the name resembling the swordsman. It was for them he would endure Lina's hate and disdain. It was for them that he would die a thousand deaths every day.

After what seemed like years he finally made it to the inn, bursting through the door with a gasp. He shivered and chattered his way over to the bar, knowing he wouldn't eat, but at least requesting a warm mug of tea to drink. He took his beverage over to a table and nearly fell into the chair, exhausted inside and out. Wriggling out of his coat, he clutched at his tea, hunching his body to try and get nearer to the warmth.

"Hey, handsome," a sultry voice said, and a woman with alluring, midnight-blue hair gracefully seated herself next to him. Her bodice was cut low and exposed a beautiful pair of high, full breasts, the skin milky-white and flawless.

Xellos kept the scowl from his face but couldn't find the energy to don his customary smile. "Yes?"

He felt the woman hook a shapely ankle around his and her hands wandered down to her generous hips. "You need help warming up?"

Mild surprise danced through his pain-numbed mind as he stared at her. Of course she was a prostitute; he'd have to have been blind not to see it. Well, he was blind, after a fashion. "No, thank you," he said weakly. "My tea is just fine."

"Are you sure?" she asked gently, looking at him with deeply green eyes. "I think it's a pity for a man like you to sleep alone."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

The woman smiled. "Sure. You're tall and good looking. I know you thin guys sometimes hide the nicest bodies in your baggy clothes, too. Besides, I can tell you're sophisticated, a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady, unlike most of the brutes in this town."

Something about her seemed familiar. Something about the blue braid dangling over her shoulder. "Do I know you?" he asked.

"No," she murmured, "but I'd like you to, sir."

Sir? Sir. That was it. The woman reminded him of Sherra, Dynast's deceased General. Just another Monster Lina had killed in her adventuring. Sherra had the same color eyes and hair, although her breasts were not nearly as spectacular. Sherra had been the first woman he had copulated with, back when they were experimenting with their physical forms, and she had almost always called him "sir." Not that either of them had true gender at that point, but they knew which forms they favored and made use of them. The copulating itself hadn't been spectacular, not like it was as a human, but the torture that usually accompanied it was incredibly fun. Of course, their little meetings came to an end when Sherra began to complain that he liked the torturing better than her company. Which had been true, naturally. He had broken off their experiments, refusing to let another being walk all over him, just like he was refusing to let Lina walk all over him at present. "Really, I'm flattered, but I'm not interested," he said slowly. Looking at the woman was almost painful, for every time his eyes strayed down into her cleavage, it was Lina's breasts he was thinking about, feeling Lina's nails scratching down the muscles of his back.

The woman sighed and rose from the chair. "Suit yourself," she replied. "I'll be here later, if you want to look for me."

Xellos didn't reply as she walked off, but suddenly he felt even more isolated. Without Lina he had nothing. Well, he had his children, but they were with her. He was left with nothing. Humanity was frightening enough without something to anchor it to. His luck had deserted him, though; he knew he would never be able to repair his relationship with Lina. He couldn't go back to her no matter what, and she would never come to him. Her pride wouldn't allow it. Well, he had pride, too. Now that he was a human being, he demanded to be treated like one. He wanted the same sort of love she would have shown Gourry if he was the father of her children. He thought he deserved it, since no other woman on the planet besides Lina would ever have his love.

Disgusted and wounded, he left the half-finished tea on the table and staggered upstairs, nearly tripping on his cloak. It hurt so bad he wanted to die, but he didn't have the freedom to just let go. He had to hang on, for his children's sake. Dragging himself to his room and unlocking the door, he tossed the cloak on the floor and sat down on the bed. He lit the fire in the fireplace with a thought and was immediately confronted with his reflection in the mirror above the chest of drawers. His countenance was pale and drawn, his eyes like dark abysses in his face rather than sparkling amethysts. He rubbed a gloved hand across the stubble on his chin, surprised that he had forgotten to shave. It was a point of pride for him that he was always completely smooth-shaven. He had even invented a nice little spell for it so that no one even had to know his hair grew. "This is disgusting," he said to himself, fighting through his self-pity and pain. He knew that going to the house every day would hurt him. The last time he had felt so broken was after his mistress convinced him that he had killed Lina. Actually, this was worse. This time he was going through the same thing, only Lina wasn't dead, she hated him, and that caused his human heart far more agony. Still, he couldn't let the children see it. They couldn't see him fall apart. That settled it; he would pull all the masks that he had discarded for Lina back into place. For the moment, however, he listened to his heart break until he collapsed into tears, eventually falling into a troubled sleep.

Somewhere in the back of Lina's mind she had refused to accept the fact that he had left her. She thought he'd go off and pout for a while, then return when he got over being such a big baby. The amurium ring found its way into one of her drawers so she wouldn't have to look at it every day and be reminded of just how serious he was. A couple of weeks had passed, though, and he showed no signs of ever returning home, returning to her.

Every morning she woke up and reached for him the habit of years a difficult one to break. Sometimes he would leave the second she got home, telling Lecia he had some business to attend to in town and he would see her in the morning. He never spoke to Lina. He barely even glanced at her.

Just to look at him, she'd never have known that anything was wrong. He was gentle and kind to the children, and Gorran was definitely starting to recognize him. His clothes were always clean and well-pressed, and he had even had his hair trimmed a bit. His trademark smile was often on his face, and it was rare that she saw him open his eyes.

When he did open his eyes was even worse than whatever game of facades he was playing. He looked her once straight in the eye, and in those amethyst depths she saw pain, more pain than she wanted to think about. Being who she was, she immediately ignored the feelings that stirred up inside of her, trying to resign herself that this was the way things had to be.

Filia and the children were no help at all. The little ones constantly asked after him or talked about him, raising them as he was, and the dragon woman would hardly speak to her. When Filia did speak, it was civil, to the point, and chilly at best. Lina didn't know what the hell was wrong with everybody. It was like someone had died and she was to blame.

Still, as the days wore on, she felt herself growing increasingly hollow. Her appetite waned, and it seemed like too much of a bother. It was as if her world had suddenly turned black and white, and nothing really seemed to satisfy her. She tried to convince herself that it was freedom, but even after so many days had passed and she still caught herself turning around, wanting to ask him a question, even she couldn't pretend that everything was okay.

What was wrong with her? She had only felt such difficult things a few times before, and all those situations had to do with Gourry. Why now? She couldn't go back to Gourry, and found that she didn't even really want to, not anymore. She felt more and more alone, more and more afraid, until finally her discomfort drove her to act. Lina was, after all, a person of action.

One evening she cornered Filia in the kitchen, Xellos having fled into town early. She was feeling oddly sad and didn't understand why. The dragon pulled away as she approached, but Lina boldly stepped in front of her, blocking her passage. "Something's wrong," Lina said with a frown, cradling Gorran in her arms.

"You just figured that out?" Filia growled.

"No," Lina said, "but I'll finally admit it."

Filia raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Lina took a deep breath. Over the weeks her anger had melted away to confusion, and now that confusion was tinged with pain and sadness. "When I looked at Gorran before, all I could feel was angry that he wasn't Gourry's son. Now, though, I'm not angry anymore. I feel sort of isolated and sad."

"Well, isn't that too bad. Good luck dealing with that," Filia said sharply, trying to move past.

Lina did something then that she hardly did: reached out to another person. Her fingers gently closed on Filia's sleeve and she looked her right in the eye. "I don't understand what's going on, Filia," Lina said flatly, trying not to show the horde of conflicting emotions she was harboring in her chest. "I'd like it if you'd talk to me."

Filia sighed and relaxed a little, still regarding Lina skeptically. "Well, the children are certainly sick of all the sadness in this house. Lecia has it figured out, you know, that her daddy doesn't live here anymore."

"I know," Lina said heavily. "I also know that things don't run as smoothly around here as they used to."

Filia's expression softened and she ushered Lina to a chair, then fetched them some tea. "I'm angry at you, you know," she murmured.

"I know," Lina replied. "But I don't really know why."

"Because you got everything I ever wanted and tossed it away like so much garbage," Filia said bluntly. "I'm half-mad with jealously, and then the fact that you don't appreciate what you have drives me over the edge of insanity."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you don't realize what you have with Xellos. Maybe it's because you had something just as intense with Gourry. At any rate, you have someone in your life who cares about you more than life itself and is willing to do anything for you. Most people would die for that."

Lina felt something twist inside of her and squirmed. She was never good at this sort of thing. Still, the hollowness inside of her had spawned a certain desperation. She hated feeling this way and wanted to do whatever she could to change it. There was no doubt that she was miserable. Every day hurt and was awful, and she had no idea why. "But that's why I left Gourry," Lina explained. "It smothered me, to know that he felt like that."

"Gourry's a darling, but he's not subtle. Besides, he can't understand how your mind works."

"And you do?"

Filia shook her head. "No, but Xellos does."

Lina sat for a moment in silence, digesting the thought. "But Gourry understood my heart. Xellos doesn't."

"That's because Xellos has only two years' worth of humanity to draw upon. He's had a heart for less time than your daughter. How can you expect him to understand the human heart when he's so new to it all?"

Lina scowled. She hadn't considered that. Xellos had been with her for so long that she had just assumed he'd become a fully-functional human if he was no longer a Monster. Then again, she had taken Gourry for granted as well. "I don't know," she growled, the admission tasting like ash in her mouth.

"Well, what's the matter?"

Lina took a deep breath, clutching Gorran to her a little more closely. "I'm not sure. It's like everything has gone gray and dead. I feel tired all the time, and like I'm spread all over the place. Sometimes when I get up I feel like a ghost, like you could see or reach right through me. Then, under it all, I realize it hurts."

Filia nodded in understanding and reached across the table, taking Lina's hand. "And why do you think that is?"

"That's the thing, I don't know!" Lina cried, her panic breaking loose after so many weeks of being penned-up inside of her. "I hate not knowing, I hate it!"

"I know," Filia whispered.

"It's just I was so angry at that bastard Xellos for ruining my life, and I hate being tied to a man, because I don't need a man. I'm just me, and I never wanted to be a mother. I wanted to travel with Gourry and die on the road. No family, no kids. Then along comes Xellos, all handsome and refined, and then next thing I know I have two children! Now, though, whenever I try to remind myself how much I hate him and how angry I am, I just want to collapse in the middle of the floor. I feel desperate and frantic, and I don't know why."

Filia smiled weakly and inclined her head. "It's because you miss him."

Lina snorted, a bit of her old anger returning. "No, I don't. I don't need him."

"Don't you realizing that needing a person isn't necessarily a bad thing? He needs you, you know. You can see it behind his eyes. He misses you with all his heart. He is a human now, after all, and he has a heart."

"But I hate that stereotypical 'a woman needs a man' crap. I swore when I was little that I'd never need a man."

"Caring about a man because you need him is wrong," Filia admitted. "However, needing somebody because you care about him is not. We need the people we care about, just as they need us. As long as it's shared, it's not bad, nor is it weakness. In fact, it takes a certain amount of bravery to care with all one's heart and soul."

Something inside of Lina felt like it popped and she stared at Filia, eyes beginning to tear up just as the shame of it made the blood rise to her cheeks. "But what do I do?"

"Let down your walls, Lina. Gourry never doubted your strength or wanted to pen you in, and Xellos doesn't want that, either. You need to figure out what you want, and what you're willing to do to get it. Do you really still want to be with Gourry, or do you simply hold on to him because you're scared that if you let go you'll be forced to confront what exactly it is you have with Xellos?"

"But I don't have anything with Xellos."

Filia looked at her strangely, her face gentle and sad. "Really? Then what was it that made you stay with him, that made you close enough to him that he was able to sire two children on you? Is that nothing?"

Lina felt her blood turn to ice water in her veins. Filia was making an awful sort of sense. Without her rage to cloud her vision, Lina found that reality was a bit different than she had assumed. Could it really be true that Xellos wasn't using her, wasn't trying to trap her? That he could feel for her without wanting to own her? "But," she murmured.

"Don't be afraid to care about him, Lina. He's not asking you to love him. He'd like it if you would, but he doesn't expect that. All he wants to do is share himself with you, and have you share yourself back. Is that so frightening?"

Didn't Filia realize that it was? Once you let someone in, they had the power to hurt you... Of course. Xellos had let her in, and she had repaid him with anger and hate. Of course he was hurt. That was why he had given up and left. He offered her his heart, and she had smashed it, just like she had smashed Gourry's. She had even shattered her own. Suddenly it was too much to bear and she strangled a sob that came from deep within her. It was too difficult to do on her own, it was too much work to try and raise two children. It was too difficult to be alone, with no one to understand her. "Can you take Gorran tonight?" she asked weakly. "I need some time to myself."

Filia's face lost all traces of coldness. "Of course," she said softly. "Try to get some rest and figure things out."

Lina nodded and handed the baby over, missing his warmth the moment it was gone. Filia gently squeezed her shoulder and cooed at the baby until Lina could no longer hear her. She sat alone at the kitchen table, listening to the sound of the wind outside and the utter stillness of the house. There were no sounds of Xellos moving quietly about the kitchen, tidying up, nor did the strains of his voice float down the stairs as he told the children stories. He no longer whispered to her in the darkness before she fell asleep, and when there was knowledge she needed for her latest theory, there was no one to ask. It was then she realized that he had shouldered the burden of her life for her, taking care of the mundane things so that she was free to live her life as she pleased. Xellos' caring wasn't a trap, a curse, it was a gift, it was what liberated her.

The horror of her mistake hit her like a brick to the face. She hadn't hated him, she had feared him and her feelings for him. Such violent, uncertain feelings had just manifested themselves as anger, and she had hurt him. He cared for her with all his heart, and she had driven the knife of her cruelty straight into him without a second thought. Even then he had absorbed the impact, simply removing himself from danger without trying to attack her in return. "I'm the one with so many damn years of human experience," she growled. Why wasn't she better at this by now?

The answer was clear: she was afraid. Dark lords didn't frighten her, death didn't frighten her. There was precious little that she was scared of. Being hurt, though, by someone she cared about, that alarmed her. She didn't want it to happen, and so she had shoved away everyone she cared about. Her parents, her friends, Gourry, Xellos, even her children... So why was Gorran the catalyst for this episode of hers, she wondered.

That, of course, was obvious as well, once she gathered the courage to examine it. Lecia had been an accident, an understandable accident. Lina had been careless in her assumption that Xellos wasn't entirely human, and therefore couldn't father children. The second time, though, she had known. She knew what would happen if she lay with him, and she did it anyway. She was just as much to blame as he. The thing was, whereas Lecia was the symbol of a time of passing fun, Gorran's arrival was a sign that she really was with Xellos for the long haul. Having a second child with Xellos meant that she actually wanted to be with him, and that spawned fear inside her, fear of being trapped. She also felt guilt, as if actually wanting to be with Xellos and having a second child fathered by him was a larger sin against Gourry than accidentally having Lecia had been. There was also the question of love: was she more afraid that she did love Xellos, or that she didn't?

Her feelings were so intense and her confusion so acute that she thought for a moment that the room was spinning wildly about her. Her brain pounded away in her skull and sent aching tendrils down her neck into her shoulders, nauseating her. What was wrong with her? She knew that she tended to ignore her own feelings, just look at how many years it had taken her to admit her love for Gourry, but the present situation was ridiculous. How had she let things get so incredibly out of control? More importantly, how could she fix them?

As she had done countless times in the past few weeks, she turned to ask Xellos a question, and once more he wasn't there. Suddenly she felt his loss like a hole in the center of her chest. Filia was right; she missed him very, very much. "Crap," she muttered, the banal word stuffed with all her frustration and despair. Standing, she took a quick glance about the kitchen. Everything was clear to her now, and she knew what had to be done. It would be awful, but there was no other way.

Xellos finally hadn't been able to linger any longer that day, leaving the instant Filia got home. It was getting more and more difficult to be in that house, for instead of the pain lessening with time, as he had heard it would, it just seemed to grow more acute. It was driving him mad, to see Lina, hear her voice, and feel her near, and be forced to do nothing about it. He had wanted to fall on his knees before her and beg forgiveness for wrongs he knew he had never committed, hoping to end their bitter separation, but he had vowed to never again take responsibility for her mistakes, and he intended to keep that vow.

He was lying on the narrow bed in his room, thinking how weary he was of weeping so often and the exhaustion that had settled deep within his bones. There wasn't even a moment's peace for him, since every moment that he drew breath was a moment haunted by the memory of his Lina. Even when he wasn't thinking about her in particular he was ruminating on how wonderful it had been to have a family, and how dreadful it was to have it shattered. His heart twisted and died more each day, and there was nothing he could do about it except pray that at least his children came out of it okay.

Dark thoughts still enveloped him on the threshold of slumber when there was a knock at the door. Damn it, if it was that prostitute again he thought he'd scream. She had come to his door one out of every four nights, trying to solicit his business, and each time he had turned her away. Well, this would be the final time. If it was money she wanted, it'd be money she got, but it would only be payment for leaving him the hell alone and nothing more. Irritated, he didn't bother to keep the scowl from his face and marched over to the door, throwing it open in wrath.

What he saw there was the last thing he expected to witness in his entire life. It was Lina, standing in the doorway with her luxurious coppery tresses hanging limply down the sides of her face and shoulders, dripping snowmelt onto the floor. His eyes flew wide open of their own accord and he simply stared at her, looking down into her face. Her ruby gaze was troubled but her eyes were clear and unclouded by wrath. Pink caused by the cold and the wind spread across her cheeks, and her lips parted slightly as she looked up at him and blinked, her fine, fiery eyebrows drawing together slowly. He noticed a bit of moisture roll off of her thick eyelashes and he wondered if she had been crying. "Lina," he breathed, his heart breaking all over again as he said her name. She was so beautiful, so perfect, and her courage and strength practically radiated from her. He wished she had not come.

"We need to talk," she said stiffly, sniffling. Reaching up a hand, she cleared her wet hair away from her face and neck, moisture running over her pale skin.

He simply gazed at her for a moment, searching the depths of her ruby eyes, trying to decipher her. Why had she come? What could she possibly have to say to him? Should he let her in or turn her away? In the end, he knew that he couldn't deny her. He had never been able to deny her, not even as a Monster. He wondered what sort of power she must have always had over his soul, to make him bend to her so. "Come in," he murmured, holding open the door for her as she walked inside, her snow-sodden clothes leaving a trail of water on the floor. He shut the door behind her and locked it, then took in the sight of her. It was nearly the middle of the night and it was storming again outside as well. Whatever she had to say must be fairly important if Lina, who loathed snow and the cold, had ventured out in it just to talk to him. "Here," he said, turning away from her and walking over to the chest of drawers. "I'll find you something dry to wear."

"I'm sorry," he heard her say, and her words froze him in his tracks.

He stood stiffly for several moments, not daring to move a muscle lest it be a trick. He was afraid that if he moved the illusion would be shattered. Finally his native curiosity got the better of him and he slowly turned, fixing her with an incredulous stare. "What?" he whispered.

Her cheeks turned even redder and she looked away. "I was wrong, and I apologize," she said.

He took a step closer, feeling hope well up inside of him in spite of his best efforts to quell it. "Do you mean it?"

Her eyebrows descended a little, but she bit her lip and nodded slowly. "Of course I mean it. I'm sorry. Come home."

"Come home?"

"Please?" she whispered, and he watched as something inside her eyes broke.

"Why?" he asked, trying to keep from falling to the floor and wrapping his arms around her knees.

"Because I missed you. It's not the same without you around. The kids miss their father and I miss you, too. I don't like waking up in the night and not feel you breathing beside me. I miss watching you read bedtime stories to Lecia and seeing her eyes shine up at you with adoration. I miss seeing you hold Gorran close to your body as you whistle and stir things in pots on the stove, or that weird soft expression you get on your face when you watch me nurse him. I miss hearing you bicker with Filia and teach Val how to grow up to be a proper man, one who respects people and has manners instead of a musclebound lunk. I miss watching you sit next to the fire and read a book, turning your head to smile at me every so often. I miss the sound of your speaking and your singing and your laughing. There's no music or color in my life when you're not there, and I want you back."

Every single one of her words fell into his soul and was absorbed like raindrops in a river. They caused a torrent of feelings within him and he fought to keep his knees from giving way. He had longed to hear such things from her for longer that he could remember, and it sickened him that now that he had heard them he was suspicious of her motivation. "That's not what I mean," he said reluctantly. "I mean, why do you hate me so much? Why are you so angry at me?"

Lina took a great, shuddering breath and leaned heavily against the door. Her face was twisted with emotion, with painful emotion. This was not easy for her, not by any means, and he knew it. "I never hated you," she explained slowly, her lips quivering slightly. "Not for a second. And I wasn't always angry at you, just after Gorran was born."

"But he's our precious son. Why?"

"Because I thought I wanted him to be Gourry's. I thought it was all your fault that I didn't have the life I thought I desired. He just looked so much like me, and when he was born he didn't have your eyes. I wondered what it would be like if he really wasn't your son."

Xellos felt something inside of him deflate. "I understand," he murmured, slowly turning away.

"No, you don't," she protested. "Because it turned out I wasn't really angry at you. I was angry at me, and I was only angry to hide what I was really feeling. You scare the hell out of me, Xellos."

"I never wanted to frighten you," he said, still not turning around.

"Don't you see? It wasn't you, necessarily, but the fact that I feel for you. I knew I liked you, and I knew I liked having you around, but that was mostly because I couldn't do anything about it. I was going to force myself to be happy, goddamn it, because I made that bed and I had to lie in it. Well, when Gorran was born, I think I realized somewhere that I had made a conscious decision. I chose you, I chose to be with you, and I didn't know why. I'm scared to love. It hurt me badly last time, and I'm not sure I want to do it again. But choosing to be with you frightened me, and my own fear made me angry. It's my fault, and I'm sorry. You've been nothing but good to me, and I didn't mean to repay you like this."

"What of the future, Lina?" he asked her softly. "I can't take your brand of abuse any more. I'm tired of feeling worthless to you, of having you take everything out on me."

"Do you care about me?"

He snorted. "Of course I do."

"Do you care very much if I love you?"

He was silent, weighing his words. "I want you to love me someday. I know we've been forced together under some very strange and unforeseen circumstances, and that your heart was full of love for another for a long time. Still, I hope that someday you will love me. Not as you loved him, but with equal intensity and devotion."

"Is it enough that I care for you? That I want you with me?"

He looked over his shoulder and stared at her, the rest of his body eventually turning to face the same direction as his head. "Do you care for me, Lina?" he breathed, his entire body trembling.

A large tear formed at the corner of her shining ruby eye and slid gracefully down the curve of her cheek, disappearing in the depths of the collar of her sodden robe. "Xellos, I care for you very, very much. Please come back so we can try again."

He had to clench his jaw to keep it from quivering and felt his own tears spring to his eyes. It had cost Lina much in pride and courage to come here and say such things to him, but for now he was no longer confused. She was his heart and soul, and he yearned to have her back. "Lina, I," he began sadly.

"I need you, Xellos," she blurted, her hands curling into fists and her face desperate as she leaned forward, her body coiled. "I need you because I care about you. I understand the difference. I was afraid to need you, because I thought need meant dependence, but now I see that it just means you're someone I can depend on."

She needed him. He had heard the words from her very own rosy lips. She cared about him and needed him. Lina wanted him in her life. Lina Inverse had apologized. "Lina," he croaked, not knowing what to say. He wanted to go back, but he was so apprehensive...

"Please!" she cried, hurling herself forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her slight body, covered by many layers of soaked woolen cloak, seemed this as she pressed against him and the liquid from her clothes began to seep into his own. She stood on tiptoe and buried her face in his neck, and he could feel hot tears against his skin.

"Don't cry," he murmured, awkwardly stroking her damp hair. "I never wanted you to be sad."

"I know," she replied.

He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against the crown of her head, tears leaking out slowly from underneath his eyelids. He wanted her, he wanted this, he wanted everything to be all right. They deserved to be happy, didn't they? "Yes," he whispered into her hair.

"You'll come back?"

"Of course, if you promise things will be different. We've had similar talks before, you know, and nothing ever changed."

"I'm not confused anymore," she replied. "I know I want you with me. I've seen what it's like without you."

"I'm sorry I put you through this," he said gently, taking a half-step back and looking down into her face. Smiling solemnly, he rubbed away her tears with his thumb, enjoying the soft skin beneath his touch even if he wished she wasn't weeping.

"I forgive you," she said with a shaky smile.

Sighing, he shook his head. "So you'll try to appreciate me from now on?" he asked, tone lighter than before.

"I promise," she said earnestly, nodding.

"Then I had better find you something warm and dry before you catch pneumonia," he muttered, breaking free of her embrace and rifling through his belongings. "Here," he said, helping her out of her cloak and outerwear and putting one of his cloaks around her body. She shivered and nodded, dancing about until she was out of all of her clothes. He smiled and shook his head. "You poor thing. Would you like me to fetch some tea?"

"No, thanks," she chattered, then took his hand. "Here," she whispered, and slid his amurium ring on his finger. "You forgot this."

"If you'd just let me in I could have helped you figure it all out," he said softly. "You wouldn't have had to worry or guess."

"Live and learn," Lina replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "But I feel better now."

"Me, too," he agreed, taking his place next to her. They sat on the bed for quite some time, holding hands and staring into the fire. After a while he yawned and sighed. "You can't go back tonight, dearest," he murmured.

"I can stay here, can't I?"

"What sort of man would I be if I turned away the mother of my children?" he asked with a wink.

"A foolish one."

"I think that has been established."

"Well, I guess it takes one to know one."

Xellos laughed at that. "Is your hair dry? I don't want to dream of being tangled in fishing nets and drowning."

"Yes, it's close," she murmured, scooting up toward the top of the bed and discarding his cloak. He caught the barest glimpse of her pale, smooth body disappearing beneath the covers and smiled.

"All right, then," he replied, and disrobed as well. He climbed into the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. The wonderful, lovely, familiar scent of her filled his nostrils and he felt at peace for the first time in a long while. He would have killed anyone else for hurting him so, and still would, but for Lina he could find it in him to forgive. For Lina he could find it within him to do just about anything. "This bed is a lot smaller than we're used to," he chuckled, feeling drowsy. It was as if all the past weeks had caught up with him at once, draining him.

"We'll just have to lie closer," she murmured, pressing her body to his.

"Ah," he replied, closing his eyes. It felt as if their skin was melting together, turning them into the same puddle of warmth, and he sighed. His heart soared at having her back again, but he couldn't completely let his guard down. Trusting her would take some time. Odd, as a Monster he had trusted no one, and that had somehow turned into default trust in most everyone when he had become human. Of course, even then he hadn't trusted anyone with his soul except Lina. He had to wait and see how things went before he decided to let her into his soul again.

"Xellos," she whispered, and he felt her fingers fan out across his bare chest.

"Yes?"

"It has been since before Gorran was born that we... I want to... Do you still..."

He frowned slightly and cracked an eye open, wondering what she wanted to say. He had a pretty good idea, but he didn't want to make things too easy for her just yet. As he watched her cheeks turned a brilliant color of pink, the hue staining her nose and traveling down her neck. Her large eyes looked up at him, gaze transparent with feeling. There was no weight in her look, only hope and a small measure of fear. They were made to lie so close to one another in the narrow bed that he could feel her heart beating rapidly, and the body she pressed against his began to burn with heat. He wanted to wait until he heard her say she loved him and he was sure of her words, but her slender fingers began to slowly draw circles in the taut skin of his chest and he didn't quite know what to do. Lina was trembling against him, and he couldn't tell if it was out of need or anxiety. Her whole body vibrated like a heated coil, her slender, strong thighs interlacing with his. She pushed herself against him slowly, her breasts bunching up between them in pale, soft mounds, and the soft hair between her legs pressed into the area just below his navel. He had to roughly control his thoughts and body to keep from pouncing on her right then, but he wanted to see how far she would go to show him she desired him and needed him in her life. Lina was an accomplished seductress, but that was when he was confident he returned her passion. Now she was uncertain of his feelings, and he certainly wasn't going to give her any clues.

That was why he just continued to lie there as Lina's fingers danced lightly around his nipples, teasing until they were taut and then moving along to his shoulders. She traced his pronounced collarbones and moved up to his throat, gently touching the Adams apple. Her caress traveled along his jaw and up to his cheek, where she brushed her thumb over his lips before reaching back and burying her hand in the hair at his temple. He felt her leg wrap around his more tightly and she pulled their bodies as close as they could be without him inside of her, the heat of her skin incredible as he felt her the length of him. Slowly she pulled his head down to her and tenderly pressed her lips against his, their velvety, soft flesh molding to his mouth like hot strawberries. He sighed despite his control and leaned into the kiss, heartbeat speeding up as he tasted her. The kiss was tentative at first, but as he responded she grew more bold, kissing him with more passion as her lips kneaded his. She gently took his lower lip between her teeth and pulled, the action making his jaw open slightly. The opportunity was there and she took it, quickly covering his mouth with hers and sliding her tongue between his lips, entwining it with her own. He opened his mouth wider to accommodate her tongue and taste her better, reveling as her tongue writhed against his and their saliva mingled. His grip unconsciously tightened around her body and she made a soft noise, arching her back. The thrills the movement sent up and down his spine just confirmed something he already knew: he was hers, now and forever, and he wanted her desperately.

His control rapidly began to break down as her kissing grew more fevered, and he cracked open an eye to see her cheeks a deep red, her eyes closed and her long eyelashes sometimes brushing against his cheek. Her slender jaw worked as she maneuvered her tongue inside of his mouth, mapping every single one of its contours, and he let his eye slide shut again. It was wonderful, no, more than wonderful, to feel her near him again, to be able to hold her again.

One of her hands left his hair and drew a line down his body, tracing the tendon in his neck and the cleft of muscle in his chest and stomach until it reached his hipbone. There her touch followed the curve of the muscle there until it arrived at his lower back, where her fingers spread and she clutched him to her. Her leg drew his thigh more tightly between hers, and he could feel a warm dampness emanating from her. The realization made his entire body shudder and grow harder than it was already. Her fingers slowly traversed the muscles of his lower back, traveling down the tight swell of his rear and down to his hard thigh, where she gripped him tightly and pulled so that his hardness pressed commandingly into the soft skin of her stomach. Her tongue still worked away in his mouth, her other hand tracing the curves of his ear, and he was lost.

When she released the kiss he was breathless and burning for her, the fires inside of him almost driving away all rational though. He wanted to be inside of her, rutting away as she moaned and twisted beneath him. Opening his eyes, he gazed down at her, seeing that she was looking at him as well. The stare she sent him had the color and heat of lava, her body volcanic as it trembled with need beneath his long fingers. Her eyes were devouring him whole, and he could see in their ruby depths the things she was thinking about him doing to her, of her doing to him. Oh, had there ever been such intense heat between lovers before, the flames so hot and bright that their lives were nearly consumed by it?

Control far beyond his reach, he moved his hands down to her rear and squeeze, making her arch her back. It was all he needed to enable him to bend down and kiss her throat with hot lips, still moist with her saliva. Her flesh was just as smooth and delectable as he remembered, and he gently allowed his teeth to nibble at it. The body beneath his hands convulsed slightly and her fingers dug into his thigh where it was thrust between her legs. One of his hands released her and moved up to her breast, pulling up its soft weight so that he could tend to it with his mouth. Her rosy nipples were hard as he nuzzled one of them, letting his lips explore the whole breast before focusing on where the nerves were centered. Lina threw her head back and moaned, fingers taking fistfuls of his hair as she arched. Gently he took her nipple into his mouth and teased with his tongue, smiling against her as she took a deep, ragged breath and thrust her hips against him more insistently. Well, she'd just have to wait. He was just as aroused as she was, and if he could take it, so could she. In the meantime he wanted to taste every inch of her, remind himself of every centimeter of her body.

A sweet, thick liquid mixed with his saliva as he ministered to her breasts, surprising him until he remembered she was a nursing mother. He suckled for a moment more, then released her nipple, instead licking at it roughly with his tongue. Lina's grip in his hair became tighter and her whole body shuddered with her moan. He returned his mouth up to her neck, where he kissed his way up to her earlobe, tracing its curves with his tongue and taking it between his teeth.

Without warning her hand shot between their bodies, gripping him hard, and he threw his head back as he gasped, his entire attention immediately centered on her hands. She drew her fingers over the tip of him and down his shaft, a rush of blood stretching his organ even tighter. As he panted and moaned beneath her touch she pulled at his groin with one hand and pushed his shoulders with the other, sliding underneath him as she moved. He blindly followed her lead, unable to concentrate past the electric thrills she was sending the length of his body. A soft whimper escaped him and she released him all at once, clamping her hands down on either side of his head and pulling his mouth to hers, claiming it in a burning kiss. He could smell the earthy undertones of her desire, feel her chest heave with impassioned breathing beneath him, and understood that it was time. He broke their kiss and locked his elbows, opening his eyes and fusing his gaze with hers as he slowly drew himself up the incredibly soft skin on the inside of her thigh. Her eyes half-closed and she moaned softly as she did so, her arms entwining with his as she dug her fingers into his triceps. He watched her clear eyes widen as he paused at her opening, then they rolled back in her head as he slowly pushed into her. He closed his eyes with pleasure as he continued to enter her, reveling in her soft warmth and the feeling of her fluids gently trickling down his shaft. Her legs wrapped around his hips and she uttered a long, low cry, her nails digging into the skin of his arms. When he was inside of her as far as he could go he began to withdraw, the movement as slow as he could stand to make it. He felt the inside of her tighten and stick against him for a moment as he moved, pulling upward at the end of his stroke and gratified by the sharp noise of pleasure she made as he did so. Thrusting his hips forward he pushed inside of her again, concentrating on taking deep, slow breaths and the crackling of the fire in the hearth behind him. It was difficult to concentrate on any sound other than her moans, however, and he looked down at the sight of her pale body spread out on the sheets beneath him. Her eyes were closed tight and her head thrown back, the muscles in her stomach pronounced as she clenched them against his movement. Her small, ruby mouth was open as she gasped and moaned, her face, neck, and chest mottled with red in the manner of fair-skinned people when they become excited. The red-gold of her hair tumbled about the pillows in a fiery cascade, and he thought for a moment it would produce popping and crackling sounds to mirror the real fire burning behind him. Her breasts, still firm and high despite having had two children, heaved beneath him as she gasped, the nipples hard and rosy. She was so beautiful, so like a goddess, that he shuddered and was forced to squeeze his eyes shut, for his human mind wasn't capable of witnessing such glory. 

Her hands moved from his arms and scrabbled against his buttocks and back, attempting to pull him further into her. The moans that emanated from her were turning to whimpers, and he knew she wanted him to go faster. He rocked his hips back and forth more quickly, watching as the flesh of her body rebounded with his movement, then closed his eyes and focused on feeling her. It felt so incredible to have her body wrapped around his again, like he was finally where he belonged. He belonged with Lina, their bodies becoming one. Nothing meant more to him than being close to her. She was his everything, and someday he hoped it wouldn't frighten her to hear that.

The awareness of the ring on his finger finally broke through the mind-blowing pleasure melting his brain and he activated its magic. Lina's body convulsed so violently as his ecstasy was added to hers that she let loose a scream of rapture and almost all of her body left the bed. He cried aloud as well as her desire and passion flooded into him, and suddenly he lost control altogether. He could feel nothing but their elation mingling, it was all he was aware of, as he pounded into her, gasping for air near her ear. "Lina," he moaned, every thrust making them both gasp.

"Ah," was the only answer she was capable of forming and she clutched at his body like she was drowning. Her grip became more and more frantic and he was suddenly afraid that they would wake the other guests with Lina's moaning and cries of passion, and then he felt the luminous, thundering heat of Lina's threshold looming. He broke through it with the force of a speeding dragon, driving his hips as far forward as he was capable of as she let loose a great cry, arching so violently as she came that she lifted part of him from the bed. Because they were sharing the same pleasure through the rings, he spilled over as well, releasing his own fluids inside of her. Her name became a mantra inside his head as he continued to orgasm, pressing himself to her as closely as he could. Her arms shot up and pulled him down to her, crushing his head to her breasts as she moaned and the spasms wracked her body. He clung to her with all his might as wave upon wave of euphoria crashed over them, and finally they were spent. It was back, the closeness he had once felt with Lina was back.

The realization relieved himself so that he buried his face against her neck as he pushed himself into her once last time, then he felt moisture burning his eyes. Tears flowed slowly and gently down his face, wetting her neck in the process. A soft sob traveled the length of his body, and then he felt Lina's slender fingers in his hair, clearing his heavy tresses from his face. "Xellos?" she asked softly, and his heart nearly broke at the tenderness he heard in her voice.

"Oh, Lina," he wept, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her.

"Are you all right?"

"I just missed you so much," he choked. "It was hell, not being with you every moment of every day, feeling that chasm open up between us. I hated waking up in pain and darkness, without your light to guide me through it."

"I'm so sorry," she murmured, stroking his hair, a few strands of silver shining in the firelight as she let it rain down from her caresses.

Through the rings he could feel her sincerity, her honest pain at the way things had transpired between them. She really hadn't wanted to hurt him. Beneath all her bravado and anger, he realized, she really was a loving, kind person. Lina was just as soft and tender as everyone else, she was just more leery of showing it. Was it this that Gourry had always understood about Lina? Was that why he always seemed to know her heart so much better than everyone else?

As he wrapped his arms around her even more tightly he knew he had forgiven her. It would take quite some time for things to be free and easy for them, but he knew it would happen eventually. Someday they would truly be partners. Lina had only asked him to be patient.

"I will give you all the time you need, so long as you'll let me be at your side," he whispered, feeling his tears dry upon his cheeks.

She wiped away some of his tears and squeezed him. "Of course," she murmured. "I wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
